She stood at the end of the pier at our secret lake. It was the only place that was ours. Ronan, Thadg, and Orin knew about it, of course, but they never went without Maeve and me. Orin was the only reason she was even allowed out of the house, so if that meant he had to be here right now, so be it. I switched on the small Bluetooth speaker I’d brought and started a playlist, the volume down low. I walked upbehind her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, just happy to be there with her. Since school was out for the summer, it had gotten harder for us to find excuses to see each other without suspicion.
“Hey there, Sparky,” I whispered softly in her ear.
She laughed and turned around in my arms to face me. “Hey there, what took you so long?”
She stared into my eyes, looking for an answer, but I couldn’t tell her the real reason.
Shit. I can't lie to her.
Deciding on a partial truth, I said, “I was in a meeting with my father and a few of his men.”
She waited for more, looking at me expectantly. I wish I could have told her more. But she seemed to understand. She laid her head on my chest and wrapped her arms around my waist, and I felt my anxieties start to fade. We stood like that for a while, our breathing synced, looking out over the water.
The sun was setting, and for a few minutes, the lake reflected shades of golden pink back to the sky as the lush pines swayed gently in the summer breeze. A light mist hovered across the ground and stretched across the lake. It was getting cooler now.
A cover of "Yellow" by Beth was playing softly on the speaker behind us. I take her right hand in mine and put her left hand on my shoulder, then I pull her in close again, my arm low around her waist. She’d have to leave soon, and I wanted to be as close to her as possible. She smiled up at me, then lay her head on my chest again, and I could feel her bodyrelaxing in my arms. I rested my chin on top of her head as we swayed in place.
I wanted to tell her how I felt, that I didn’t want to be just friends anymore. That I loved her. But I just couldn’t get the words out. I stared blankly as the sun sank further behind the pines and the song ended, thinking about what an idiot I was.
But I didn’t want to let her go yet, and we stayed like that for longer than a few songs as night fell around us. It was all cut short when my phone buzzed in my pocket.
I sighed and pulled it out—a text from Orin.
It's time. Sorry.
I knew he was genuinely sorry. He knew what we meant to each other; he was there for it all. Ronan, Orin, and Thadg were the only ones who knew that I loved her with every part of me. They would protect her just as much as I would, no matter what was happening between the families.
I sighed and pulled her from my chest, holding her shoulders and looking down into her eyes. She gazed back at me steadily, like she was looking for something. She was always looking for something, but I never knew what it was. I just let her look, hoping that she’d find it. But she just sighed, so I kissed her forehead, letting my lips linger a little longer than a friend would. Maybe that would signal to her the words I couldn’t say.
She grabbed my hand as we made our way back down the trail, the pines close on each side and black now in the darkness. The gravel crunchedunder our steps, and the crickets chirped softly. Last chance, dumbass, I think to myself. Say it. Tell her.
But then we’d emerged in the clearing where Orin was waiting, leaning casually against the blacked-out SUV. Too late.
I walked over to him and shook his hand. “Take care of her, man.”
“Always,” he said as he opened the passenger door for Maeve.
She glanced back over her shoulder at me as she climbed inside, smiling briefly. Orin closed the door behind her, then said in a hushed tone, “Knights meeting tonight at 8.”
I nodded and made my way back to the navy blue Jaguar I had selected from our garage. I wasn’t far from home, so I just took what I wanted whenever I came here. Dad never asked where I went or what I was doing, so I never offered the information, either. But I had a feeling I wasn’t the only one keeping things to myself. He knew more than he was telling me. Only time would tell.
Chapter 5
Maeve
Espy (v) to suddenly see or notice something
What am I doing?
Why did I even speak to him?
I’d told myself I wouldn’t, and here I am, taken in by mere seconds of looking into his eyes. I can’t believe he still owns this much of me. Almost a decade later, he’s still the only one who can completely throw me off kilter. I take a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves.
I attempt to focus on the side conversations happening around me. The table is large and round, reserved only for family occasions. Never business. I was initially shocked when my father told me we’d be in here, but the way things are unfolding—so quickly, so unexpectedly—I realize it’s pointless to try and rationalize them. The staunch, decade-long rift between our families has apparently melted to nothing in no time. Things are clearly not what they appear to be. But I’ll have to mull that over later. Right now, I need to keep my wits about me.
To my left, Callum is swirling his whiskey, the ice clinking against the glass. Ronan is sitting on Callum’s left, reclining casually in his seat. Then Eoin, Aisling, Niall, and Cian around the other side of the table. On my right, Orin listens to my father telling stories I'm sure he has heard a thousand times. I stare past Orin and my father at the chairthat remains empty. My mother’s seat. On the other side of it is Cian, listening intently. I look back to my father, his plate already cleared of the first course, his face bright with joviality.
“Have we heard anything from Liam recently?” Niall asks my father as he takes a sip of his drink.
