“What makes you think it will end?” I ask abruptly. Her words cut deep.
“Everything ends, Ivan. Nothing lasts forever. I’ve learned to accept that you can’t expect even the strongest relationships tocontinue. Someone always leaves or dies. I’ve watched it happen time and again. I’ve lived it.”
“And you’re certain that will happen with us?”
She raises her eyebrows. “Well… are we even an us?” she asks. “When was the last time you were in a committed relationship?”
I pause to think. “What do you mean by committed? Give me some parameters.”
She laughs, shaking her head. “Not just someone you have sex with.”
“Um,” I admit, “I’ve never had a relationship last longer than a few months.”
Suddenly, I’m embarrassed by my dating history. I can’t think of one woman I planned a future with. I’ve always been happy on my own. Until now, until Amy. The idea of her choosing someone else turns my stomach.
“It’s okay, Ivan,” she says. “I’ve heard about your reputation. I know you don’t do serious relationships. Let’s go to Thailand and have some fun. Then we can return home and go our separate ways. Dating me wasn’t in your plan, I know that.”
“If that’s what you want,” I mumble.
“Don’t you?” She narrows her eyes, examining me like she’s trying to see into my skull.
“Of course, I don’t do commitment,” I say quickly. Too quickly. “Shall we order some drinks?”
But even as I say it, my gut twists. Because for the first time in my entire life, it’s not true.
Chapter thirty-two
Ivan
I love the New Year’s Eve bodybuilding event at Harley’s. It’s the only competition I truly enjoy. The place is always bursting with positivity and pride. The athletes are full of excitement for the upcoming contest as well as merriment due to the time of year.
After the prizes are awarded, we let loose and everyone hits the dance floor, then drinks their body weight in beer. All dieting rules are off for one night only.
Amy and I walk into the competition suite together. She drops my hand as we enter the reception area. A small sting hits my chest at the loss of contact, an empty patch of skin cooling where her fingers were.
“There’s Trey,” she says as she points to our mutual friend standing beside the stage.
He looks up, his face breaking into a huge grin when he sees Amy. Then his eyes move to me, and he frowns like he’sassessing the situation. His jaw tightens. He’s putting the pieces together, and I’m going to get some shit for this. I know it.
“Let’s go catch up with him,” Amy suggests.
I follow behind her like a lapdog as she skips between the seating toward him. He wraps her in his arms and pops a kiss on her forehead. My shoulders tense; my fingers curling into fists.
He’s touching her, and I don’t like it. Which is ridiculous considering he’s married and gay. But my reaction doesn’t give a shit about logic. My blood heats, a low, irrational burn forming in my gut. Amy Corrigan is mine, whether she knows it or not.
“Hi, Ivan,” Trey says, then stretches out one hand to take mine. “Have you had a good festive season?”
“Yes, it’s been enjoyable,” I reply too smoothly. He gives me a look that says he knows I’m being vague.
“Is this guy hassling you?” he says to Amy with a wink. “Be warned. He’s a leech. He’s stuck to me before too. You’d be best to shake him off quick.”
Amy giggles. My face contorts. Twat.
“No, no,” Amy says, glancing between us. “We came together.”
“Together?” Trey splutters. “As in, you came in the same car?”
“We’ve been spending some time together over the holidays,” she confirms, squaring her shoulders, ready for an argument. Trey’s focus comes to me, eyelids narrowing to slits. He’s not happy, and I know why.
