“No…” She clenched her jaw, because she sensed that he was being purposefully obtuse. “Waiting for me to break your fast with, is what I meant. Presumably, that is what you are doing?”
“I am.”
She looked at him pointedly. “Might I ask, why?”
The events of the previous evening still plagued Thalia greatly, and she had hardly slept the previous night because of them. While on the surface, it might have appeared that what happened between her and Caspian was a good thing, because she had gotten her way, she knew only too well that the complete opposite was true.
A time would come soon when she and he would be expected to go to bed together. He would not change his mind, and she highly doubted that she could change it for him.
All last night was, was a reprieve from the inevitable. A stay of execution, as it were.
And while Thalia and Caspian had decided that getting to know one another better might just make the difference, she highly doubted that it would.
Oh, she wanted it to. She would have loved it if there was a remote chance that he would open up to her and show another side of himself that she did not know existed. But as this was Caspian who she was dealing with…I get the feeling that I haveseen all sides to him, and there is little difference to be found from one side to the next.
That he was sitting in the breakfast room, waiting for her, might have brought some relief. It might have implied that he was willing to at least try, that perhaps he agreed with her and wanted them to grow closer.
Again… as this was Caspian, Thalia sensed a trap.
“I would have thought the answer to be obvious,” he said to her. He was seated at the head of the table, an empty space set in front of him, watching her with what almost amounted to boredom.
“Humor me,” she said, taking another step into the room.
“You know what I want from this marriage,” he began; no smile, no frown, a straight face as he spoke. “And you made quite clear last evening what is required of me – of the two of us, in fact, if I am to get it.”
“And you agree with me?” she asked. “You… you understand why I want such a thing?”
“Whether I agree with you or not is irrelevant. You wish for it, I am not the type to force myself on someone, so if I am required to humor you for a time until you feel more comfortable…” He shrugged. “So be it.”
It wasn’t nearly the answer that Thalia wanted. It was also the best she was going to get.
“I suppose I best be grateful then.” She finished crossing the room and walked down the table where a place was set for her to the right of Caspian. “And thank you again,” she was sure to say as she sat down. “For agreeing to this.”
“Do I have a choice?” he asked.
She made sure to be looking right at him. “No, you do not.”
The next few minutes were spent in silence as their breakfast was served. Thalia spent that time trying to figure out what it was that she wanted exactly.
I know what I want, just as I know that I am not going to get it. So, perhaps some sort of middle ground? A best of both worlds, if such a thing is possible.
She doubted very much that she and her husband were ever going to be truly happy. Thalia did not want such a thing in the first place. Not with Caspian, and not with a man who had a personality that was about as exciting as a damp rag.
At most, Thalia decided that she might come to understand her husband. What drove him? What inspired him? What had his life been like for it to arrive at this exact place? If she learned all of that, then maybe, quite possibly, she and he could accept one another and this marriage for what it was.
And all the while, she pictured her mother, how unhappy she had been, wondering if things might have been different had her father given her anything at all…the feigned hope that their marriage could grow beyond what it started as.
“I know what I want to ask you,” Thalia said once her full plate was placed before her. It was a breakfast of toast, eggs, and pork. There was juice and tea and water available to drink. And she thought that she could smell cake baking in the kitchen.
“I had hoped that you might.”
She chuckled lightly, as if Caspian was being purposefully flat with her. “I would like to know why you have not married until this point.”
For the first time, Caspian looked caught by surprise. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” she said.
His frown deepened, and he looked nervous for the first time. “Because… because I have not chosen to.”
