It was a joke, of course, and Lady Thalia’s sharp smile told him as much. And even if it was not, Caspian should not have cared one way or the other. He was not in this for love. He was not in it for passion. What did he care if another man flirted with her?
Apparently, he cared very much.
“I just wished to give you my best,” Northwick was saying. He took Lady Thalia’s hand and gave it another kiss. “And you, Your Grace,” he said to Caspian next. “You are a lucky man.”
Caspian looked coldly upon Northwick, resisting the urge to bare his teeth and snarl.
Thankfully, Northwick left after that, which just opened the table for more well-wishers and busybodies to come through. And through it all, Caspian worked as hard as he could to calm himself, because he still could not fully explain why he had reacted that way to Northwick.
All that was to say, it was a painfully long morning, and one that Caspian was happy to cut short.
“We are leaving,” he told his wife suddenly, pushing back his chair and rising. “Let us be quick about it.”
She frowned at him. “Already? It is still early.”
“Is it?” he said. “By my mind, days have passed since we sat down.”
It took some time for them to leave. Noticeably, when his wife said goodbye to her brother, it was done without so much as a hug, and Caspian could see a hint of annoyance in both her eyes, and her brother’s.
That’s interesting….
Finally, they were free of the manor. Waiting for them on the driveway was their carriage, and Caspian made sure to hold the door open for her. He even went so far as to offer her a hand climbing in… for the sake of appearances.
She did not take it, which almost had him smiling in amusement. He did not smile, of course, aware of the crowds watching.
Once they were inside the carriage and it started to move, a tense silence settled between them. Caspian was happy with it, and he shuffled to the corner and looked out the window. It would be some time until they arrived at his estate, and he was more than willing to wait it out in peace and quiet.
Typically, his wife had other ideas.
“May I ask you something?” she said.
He looked at her. “I think you just did.”
She scoffed. “Does it hurt to do? Is that why you work so hard to avoid it?”
Caspian frowned. “Does it… does what hurt?”
“Smiling,” she said flatly. “I do not think that I saw you smile even once today, just as I am sure that nobody else did.”
“I was not aware that I was being so closely monitored.”
“Just a thought,” she said simply. “It is your wedding day, and with all the rumors floating around, it would not have hurt to at least pretend today was not the end of the world. I, at least, did my best.”
“And that is the difference between you and me.” He looked right at her. “I do not care what other people think.”
If that is not the biggest lie I have ever told…
Caspian turned and looked back out the window, able to feel his wife glaring at him in anger. He braced for more commentary, was relieved when she looked away, but was then struck by a strange sense of guilt that he did not expect.
Was he wrong to treat her that way? Did he even care? Caspian knew the right answer, just as he knew that it was not how he felt. This marriage was for life, he and Lady Thalia were set to live that life together, and he knew deep down that it would behoove him to at leasttryand make peace.
Peace… Caspian almost laughed at the word.
Peace was not possible. He glanced out the corner of his eyes at his wife, noting the glare she still held him in. A glare that, by his own estimation, was perfectly justified. What he should have done was apologize, start now at mending their relationship. But he was aware, too, of how she affected him, and the idea of trying to find a middle ground felt dangerous to do.
Tonight was what mattered, after which, Caspian prayed that things would return to some semblance of normality. He would avoid his wife, she would avoid him, and they would find… peace in wedded matrimony.
Peace would be enough for him. It had to be.
