Ben found her there an hour later.
“Everyone’s worried,” he said, sitting beside her on the floor.
“Pop kept a journal. He knew what was happening to him.”
Ben read a few entries. “He loves you. Even confused, that comes through.”
“I failed him.”
“You saved him. Every day for so many years, you saved him.”
“And now?”
“Now you save yourself.”
Kate leaned against his shoulder, too tired to maintain distance. “I don't know how to do that.”
“Start small. Eat dinner. Sleep in a bed instead of a chair. Let people help.”
“Let you help?”
“If you want.”
She turned to look at him, this patient man who'd shown up in every crisis, who'd saved her chairs, the inn from a tree, and maybe her sanity.
“Stay,” she said. “Tonight. Not... I just don't want to be alone with my thoughts.”
“Okay.”
That night, after her siblings had gone to their rooms, Kate sat in the sunroom with Ben. They didn't talk much, just sat together, watching the harbor lights. The inn felt hollow without Pop's presence, like a tooth missing from a smile.
“He'll be okay,” Ben said finally.
“Will I?”
“Yes. Different, but okay.”
“I put my father in a home.”
“You put your father somewhere safe, where trained professionals can care for him.”
“Same thing.”
“Not the same thing at all.”
Kate wanted to argue, but she was too tired. Tomorrow she'd visit Pop, see how he was adjusting. Tomorrow she'd start sorting through his things properly. Tomorrow she'd figure out how to be Kate without the constant responsibility of Pop's care.
Tonight, she just sat with Ben in her mother's inn, in her father's chair, and tried to believe that she'd done the right thing.
The notebook was still in her lap, Pop's shaky handwriting documenting his decline. The last entry, the one she hadn't read out loud, said simply:
Tell Katie I'm sorry for forgetting.
But Kate was the one who was sorry. Sorry for not being enough, for not saving him from this disease, for choosing his safety over his freedom.
Tomorrow she'd start going through everything properly, would pack up his room, would begin the process of accepting this new reality. Tomorrow she might find some peace with this decision.
Tonight, she just grieved.
