“Kate…”
“Goodnight, Ben.”
She got out before he could say more, walked into the inn without looking back. Inside, she found Tom in the office, still working despite the late hour.
“How was it?” he asked without looking up from his laptop.
“Fine.”
“Just fine?”
“Tom, I'm not discussing my date with you.”
He looked up then. “You called it a date.”
She tried to ignore him.
“You okay? You look...”
“What?”
“Sad. Or scared. Maybe both.”
Kate laughed, but it came out brittle. “Everyone keeps telling me how I look, what I feel. Maybe you're all projecting.”
“Or maybe we see what you're trying to hide.”
“There's nothing to see.”
“Katie.” Tom's voice was gentle. “It's okay to want something for yourself.”
“Is it? Because every time I've wanted something for myself, someone else needed me more. And now I don't even know what I want versus what everyone expects me to want.”
“No one expects…”
“Everyone expects. Dani expects me to embrace change. Lillian expects cooperation. Pop expects me to keep everything the same. The town expects me to fail. And Ben...” She paused. “Ben expects me to be someone I don't know how to be.”
“Which is?”
“Open. Vulnerable. Available.”
Tom closed his laptop, giving her his full attention. “You know what I think?”
“I'm sure you're going to tell me.”
“I think you're terrified that if you let yourself need someone, they'll leave. Like we did. Like Mom did, even though shecouldn't help it. And Pop is leaving too, not like everyone else, but he’s still leaving. Isn’t he?”
Kate's throat tightened. “I'm going to bed.”
“Katie…”
“Goodnight, Tom.”
She climbed the stairs to her room, still smelling Ben's aftershave on her coat, still feeling the warmth of his hand on hers. Outside her window, she could see the harbor, dark except for a few boat lights bobbing on the water.
Ben had asked what happiness looked like for her. The truth was, she'd caught glimpses of it, in his workshop with the chairs, at dinner when he made her laugh, in moments when she forgot to be the responsible one. But glimpses weren't enough to build on. They were just reminders of what she couldn't afford to want.
Her phone buzzed. A text from Ben:Thank you for tonight. For letting your guard down, even if just a little.
