“Exactly,” I say. “Everyone will know that, for me, you disgrace yourself. For me, you live in infamy.”
I pump harder now, my quim beginning to tighten. I will spend soon. But I want him to know, to accept, what he will be. What I have made him by force of will.
“Yes,” he says. “I know it.”
“And you accept it, even though it shames you?”
To my surprise he halts me. I try to struggle free, to continue my dominance, but he won’t let me.
“It doesn’t shame me, Annabelle. It may ruin me. I may regret the harm it will cause me and those close to me. But it doesn’t shame me.”
He drives me down on his cock and I see stars.
Thisis not what I imagined.
I try and regain control, but he is too strong.
He pumps into me, and I gasp.
“It does not shame me. I am happy for the world to know that I am yours. Even if I am only your whore. But to be yours at all, Annabelle, is an honor. And I am, Annabelle. If my only purpose in life is to pleasure you, to fill you with my seed, then I glory in it. I will be your whore every day.”
His words are too much. My orgasm nears—and I am very annoyed.
Iam supposed to be the one in control.
But more and more it doesn’t feel like it.
“I will fill you with my seed every hour of every day if you like. As I am about to do right now.”
I know in some remote, logical part of my brain that this objective is the one that I have had from the beginning. I wanted Alfred Saintsbury to fill me up and get me with child. So that I can have my heir. My plan is still possible.
He comes shuddering underneath me, and a moment later I do the same.
Chapter 27
Annabelle
The next morning I struggle to get my bearings.
Dimly, I realize that we must have fallen asleep after I rode him in reverse.
Alfred is still sleeping beside me. And after the intensity of last night I do not want to be here when he wakes.
I dress quickly, quitting the room with as much rapidity and stealth as the situation will allow.
I walk into the gardens and take a few deep breaths of rich air.
As I walk, I ruminate.
There is no use lying to myself.
I have acquired a tenderness for this man that I have ruined.
This knowledge does not scare me any less because he claims that he loves me.
Of course, just because he claims to love me now does not mean he always will. Doubtlessly a day will come when he will tire of me. And the fragile tenderness between us will break into bitterness. One day, I am sure, he will blameme for the ruin and scandal and infamy I have brought down upon him.
Not to mention the fact that I have plotted to use him since the beginning of our acquaintance. I have lied to him about my intentions. He has spent inside of me many times now. I told him that I did not think I would get with child, that I had methods of preventing a pregnancy, and of course, all of it, was lies.
