When the carriage moves again, I pull down the curtain and touch myself. I am so wet that my fingers slide seamlessly over my clit and into my channel.
Quickly, I make myself come, giving myself what I just told Saintsbury to deny himself. As I come, I think of his yearning. Hisdeprivation.
I pull the curtain open again. I smile as the carriage passes the church.
A wonderful, terrible idea takes hold of me.
I will call for him on the Lord’s Day.
For the first time in a long time, I cannot wait for Sunday.
Chapter 6
Alfred
Dear Alfred,
A comely patroness? I am shocked you would avow it. She must be very beautiful indeed.
Do be careful, though. She is notorious for a reason. Although, perhaps, you do not wish to be careful. And if she were willing to be discreet…Well, I know your morals are better than mine. So I shan’t jest with you.
You are right that I still run myself ragged in Parliament. Of course, the Crown creates a new abuse in India for every one it purports to fix.
I have had a little more time, however, to think of marriage. And I may have found my object: a Miss Florence Higgins. She is pretty, well-connected, and ardent about politics. I don’t think I’ll be able to do much better. I intend to court her. Wish me luck.
Your friend,
Henry
I put down the letter from Henry, barely able to concentrate on its contents.
I can think only of my ruin.
Well, that is not quite true.
I can think only of my ruin—and Miss de Lacey.
I am in agony.
All of my efforts to be pure for the marriage bed are now blasted.
I have defiled myself with a wicked woman.
And the only way to avoid making my perfidy public is to do more of it.
Worst of all, I cannot truly regret my predicament.
I am horrified. I am terrified.
But I also cannot stop thinking of what she will ask me to do. And yearning for it.
Surely, she will want me to bed her. Properly.
God cannot forgive such an action, but I entreat him anyway.
Dear Lord,I pray, kneeling beside my bed, my cock hard once more.Please forgive me for yielding to temptation that I cannot withstand.
Of course, I receive no response. Some clergymen say they talk to God,but I have never experienced that. Instead, when He answers it is more of a feeling. His approval, His blessing, suffuses my chest with a warm glow.
