“Mmm,” he says. “That is a pretty idea.”
It is. I wouldn’t be myself if that had happened. But I linger on the idea for a minute. It would have been wonderful to have my first kiss under the trees be with Alfred. And it would have been even better to have him as my first lover.
“I would have been the bolder of the two of us,” I say. “But you would have been the better lover in the end. Because you are so generous.”
He shakes his head. “I would have been too terrified to touch you. I would have been a coward.”
“Let me teach you then,” I say, a flicker of desire springing up in my chest. “Trust me. Take out your cock.”
“Annabelle…”
“Alfred, you are distressingly hard. Don’t you want to come? And don’t you want me to tell you how to do it?”
He groans and closes his eyes.
“Then take out your cock.”
He obeys, undoing the placket of his trousers and bringing himself forth. My mouth waters at the sight and I am relieved to see I haven’t lost all erotic feeling. As usual, he is large and thick and hot. And terribly, terribly unsated.
“You can start gently,” I say. “Palm yourself. Explore. Discover what feels good to you.”
Tentatively, he follows my directive, moving his hand up and down his shaft.
For a minute, I let him experiment. I don’t want him worrying yet about spending.
“What feels good to you? Show me.”
He loosely wraps his hand around the head of his cock, letting his fingers run over the underside.
“All right. Now indulge yourself. Let yourself revel in the pleasure.”
He moves his hand back and forth. I can see, however, that the movement is awkward.
Just as I think it, he stops and releases himself.
“It’s no use. I am not accustomed to it.”
Despite his frustration, his cock continues to swell, looking painfully aroused.
“You are giving up too quickly,” I softly admonish. “Here, I will help.”
“I won’t accept that, Annabelle. I have already said.”
“I know. I won’t touch your cock.”
Instead, I touch his hand. Then I guide him, helping him find a natural rhythm.
With my encouragement, he lets out a moan.
“There,” I say, removing my hand. “Follow that feeling.”
He stops, foolish man.
“Without you it’s no use.”
Suddenly, I realize what my husband needs to unlock this ability. I freed him from the restrictions that imprisoned him once, but I do not want to be the keeper of his pleasure, just as his father or William Acton or the church was before me. Not in that way. I do not want him to exchange one prison for another.
“That’s not true,” I say softly. I guide his hand back to his cock and direct him to resume the rhythm. “You need to know how to please yourself.”
