Now that I am back in the carriage, my nausea returns. Mercifully, with the help of the lavender, I am able to stave it off.
“How was your meeting with Miss Endicott?” Alfred asks.
I smile, doubly pleased with him for his handsome behavior to my employees now that I have confirmedall is truly well with my business.
“It was very good.”
“Did she question you about my intentions? Or did you merely speak of business?”
“We spoke mostly of business. But she also made sure to get the story of how I came to be married.”
“And what did you say?”
“The truth, mostly.”
Alfred blanches, and I must laugh.
“Don’t worry. I didn’t give her every detail. I explained that we found our passion too overwhelming and, under the circumstances, it was easier to marry.”
“It sounds practically proper when you describe it like that.”
“I’m not sure the church would agree,” I say, arching a brow at him. “How was your tour?”
“Very edifying. I do understand the business much better now. Miss Kemble was very patient with all my ignorant questions.”
“I am sure she was half in love with you by the end of the tour.”
As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I regret them. There it is again—love. What I told Alfred I could never feel for him. The word I have denied him.
He fixes me with his green eyes, and I wait for him to say it. Something that punishes me for being so careless with my words.
Instead, he blinks—he lets the moment pass.
Then he gives a slightly mischievous smile.
“It’s possible,” he says. “But a gentleman would never presume such a thing.”
It is kind, so like him, to show me mercy.
I would feel completely at ease now if it weren’t for thesoft, ridiculous jealousy in my gut which has replaced my nausea.
The possibility that he could be tempted by another rankles me.
It is most absurd because I know how unwarranted it is. Miss Kemble wouldneverdare and Alfred would never do such a thing to me even if he was tempted. And I forbid it in our marriage articles after all. He would forfeit any money from me if he strayed.
Of course, this prohibition is not the reason he would be true.
It is a stark example of my harshness in dealing with him.
Whereas he always shows me mercy, I make it clear he will never receive any from me.
I am vexed by this contrast all the way home.
Chapter 51
Alfred
When Annabelle and I arrive home, it is announced that we have a visitor.
