Further, while I still believe that we will tire of one another someday, it is admittedly difficult to imagine a time when I won’t want this man in my bed.
When we returned to Trescott from the church, I leftAlfred, retreating to my chamber. I know he is on the other side of the wall. But for some reason I want to be alone.
I undress for bed, donning my nightgown only.
I sit down and compose a letter to the person that I want to inform of my marriage the most.
Dear Evie,
I have done something extreme. I have married the man.
Given the circumstances, I felt it was necessary—the scorn of the world would have been too hard on him otherwise. And I must admit that I wanted to make a claim to him, as irrational as that may be.
I fear I have made a grave mistake. Marriage isverypermanent.
Even if my desire for him is strong. Overwhelming, in fact.
You will tell me if I have been too foolish to be forgiven.
Annabelle (Annie, if you must)
I seal the letter, resolving to send it tomorrow.
Evie will laugh when she receives it. When I imagine the easy way she will take the news, it calms me.
And the knowledge that Alfred resides on the other side of my wall beats within me.
I press my knees together.
It is our wedding night.
I want to go to him, but I am finding it difficult to do so.
I turn towards his door and he is already standing on the threshold.
“Writing letters, Mrs. de Lacey?”
TheMrs. surprises me.
During my lifetime there has never been a Mrs. de Lacey in this house.
Well, there was my brother’s wife, but I never knew her.
“Yes,” I say. “To Evie.”
“Will she disapprove?”
I smile. “It is not Evie’s way to disapprove. At least not in personal matters. Politics is another thing altogether.”
“I see. I look forward to meeting your friends.”
I nod, not sure what to make of such a proclamation. I am not sure I look forward to the same given what I saw inhisletters.
“What do you want?” I say instead.
His eyebrows rise.
“I have come to bed my wife.”
