All of these memories flash in my mind.
Finally, I turn toAnnabelle.
I am ready to face her scorn. And what I suspect will be her veiled hurt.
“Do you despise me?” she says, her tone strangely calm.
“Despise you?”
“I have caused you to lose the good opinion of the one parent you’ve had all your life. It would be little wonder if you abhorred me.”
“Annabelle, you cannot think I take my father’s view.”
I move to hold her in my arms, but she moves away.
“Annabelle,” I say. “Do not be vexed with me.”
“I am not vexed with you,” she says, moving towards the window. The bright afternoon light gilds her profile. She looks like an angel, even with her severe dress and serious expression.
“You clearly are.”
“No, Alfred, I am not.”
“Then why can’t I touch you?”
“I am thinking.”
“About what?”
She turns towards me.
“Does it bother you? That you won’t be able to dine at your father’s table? Or at your friend’s, the MP?”
I bite my lip and run my hands through my hair.
“No,” I say finally. “Not when I have you.”
“You can have me and care about such a thing, Alfred. You essentially said it yourself. Just this morning.”
I turn away from the bright window in frustration.
“Alfred,” she demands.
I turn back towards her.
“Yes, I care,” I say. “Of course I care—but not enough to repent. If that is what you are asking.”
“It isn’t,” she says, looking at me but not moving towards me. “I will never do anything that respectable societydemands. I have no one in my life anymore who belongs to the world of my birth. But ifyoucare what they think, Alfred, then it is a different matter. I do not want you to suffer.”
I step towards her, feeling desperate. “You will break with me over that, Annabelle? I will renounce anyone, anything, for you. You must know it.”
“No,” she says. “I will not break with you. I will marry you.”
I cannot speak. I open my mouth and no sound comes out.
“You don’t want to marry me,” I finally manage.
“I never wanted to marry anyone,” she says, her tone one of resignation. “But I will marry you now. It is the right thing to do. And it will hardly be a bother to me.”
