For a moment, Leith had to consider his response.He saw no reason why he shouldn’t be honest.
“Honestly, I am not sure.I knew my friends preferred other acts, but they are notorious.There was a time when they were really seen as scandalous.Their antics truly upset people, especially Monty—even though, well…”
“What?”
“Well, with Monty, it turned out to be more complicated.He was the worst of us, by far, according to everyone.The scandal sheets were full of his drunkenness and debauching of servant girls.And we thought, accounting for some exaggeration on the part of the scandal sheets, that it was all true.”
“You had no scruple having a best friend who took advantage of women in his employ?”
“I didn’t see it that way,” Leith attempted to explain.“If the girls had been unwilling, that would have been another thing… But they always, to hear him tell it, soughthimout.It hardly matters, however, because, as it turns out, he was lying to everyone.He was still in love with Olivia.And he hadn’t bedded a single woman since she left London!Thirteen years and not one woman.It’s too horrible to contemplate.”
“My God,” Beatrice said, and he could see her pale a little.“He knew Olivia before?Long ago?”
Leith shifted in his seat.He didn’t want to tell Beatrice the whole story now.Not when she already thought so ill of him.He wasn’t sure why he was talking about Monty and Olivia in the first place.Somehow, he felt it was relevant, but he couldn’t say why.
“Yes.She was a servant in his house.That began all the rumors.They were young and fell in love but then she left.And didn’t come back to London for thirteen years.He didn’t bed anyone else the entire time.And we had no idea.”
“Why did she leave?”
Leith shrugged, not able to meet her eye.“Some misunderstanding.”
“I see,” Beatrice said.“So, you are telling me that you have no real idea what goes on in the bedchambers of your friends, never mind other men?”
He wouldn’t have been able to articulate it like that, but he supposed thatwaswhy he was talking about Monty.
“Yes,” he said.“And, to me, bedding a woman in that way seemed so natural.”
“Leit—Thomas,” she said, correcting herself, raising her chocolate cup to her mouth, “I am not calling you strange.I should not have suggested it.I was merely surprised.There is nothing wrong, in and of itself, with your proclivities.It is just not what I expected—and not, ultimately, what most men of your sphere will want from their courtesans.”
Now, when he thought of it, he could see that she was right.He had never considered it too closely before, thinking that every man must be different.He hadn’twantedto think too much of it, he supposed.He didn’t like to think of himself as an aberration or examine his desires too closely.
“And I do not blame you.Thank you for asking me to breakfast with you,” she said, her eyes on her saucer, her fingers tracing the rim.“I do not want to leave on bad terms.But I do not think it wise to continue our arrangement.”
He felt his chest constrict at her words.
“I will pay you double.To stay.”
“One thousand pounds?You will pay me one thousand pounds to stay?”
He wasn’t even sure if he could afford it.Well, of course, he couldaffordit, but it was doubtlessly unwise.Usually, he was as careful in money matters as he was when it came to women.Certainly, it was more than he hadeverpaid a mistress.But he couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving now.
“Yes.”
“Thomas…” He loved the sound of his name, his real name, in her mouth.“I am not sure that would make sense, I—”
“Please,” he said, aware that he was near begging.“I will pay you double and we can do…the things you spoke of.The different ways of bedding.”
She looked up at him.“You want me to teach you?”
Is that what he wanted?He wouldn’t have put it that way.Truthfully, doing what she described with any other woman sounded as appealing as it always had.But with her…the thought had him stirring already.
He couldn’t have her walk away.Not after last night.
And not to mention Monty’s reaction when he heard what had happened…
“Yes,” he said, because, in a way, it was true.He wanted to learn how to be with her in the manner that she would like.He had been possessed by the unfamiliar urge to please a woman.“Please, stay.”
She looked down into her cup.She seemed to pause forever.
