Olivia shook her head. “It was a cruel thing to do, no doubt. But what experience in the world did he have that would have let him think differently of me? I have been so worried about how our marriage will be perceived because, in my heart, I know that I’ll never fully be accepted.”
“That’s not true—”
“It is true, Augustus. Or, at least, it will never be as if I’m from your world, as if I had grown up in it. But I’ve also realized that it doesn’t matter. I might not belong in your world, but I belong with you.”
These words melted his fear. If someone had asked him what words Olivia could say to make him feel that she wouldn’t leave him, he wouldn’t have been able to say. But these words—once he had heard them, he knew they were the ones.
He gathered both of her hands in his own and brought her fingers to his lips.
“Thank you,” he said, simply.
“I do not want to cause strife with you and Leith,” she continued, “What he did was—”
“Despicable,” he supplied.
“Yes,” she agreed. “But it would be foolish of us to blame him completely for what transpired between us. We were both young and insensible to the risks of our situation.”
“I did not understand how much power I had over you. How vulnerable you were.”
She nodded. “And I could not see how much real care you had for me, having so little experience of love of any kind. When I received the letter, I should have waited to speak with you before leaving. Even if you had left it, it so went against everything you had said and done up to that point—I should have made sure it was what you really wanted. But, really, I should have expected it wasn’t you who had written it at all.”
“But how could you have known?” Montaigne said, not understanding how she could blame herself. “You had no reason to doubt that it was me. Leith knows how to write my hand very well.”
He watched as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small square. She handed it to him and, dread in his heart, he unfolded it. He knew, somehow, despite never having seen it, what it was.
Olivia—
Over the past weeks, I have contracted a liaison with you that is not suitable for either of us. As you must know, what we have cannot continue forever. I have my duty to my family to think of and my place in the world to assume.
Please accept this token of my affection. I have departed for my cousin’s estate and will return within the fortnight. I ask that, when I return, you be gone from Carrington Place. My gift should, I hope, help you in securing another post. Consider it the payment I have long promised.
Lord Montaigne
To finally read the letter pained him—and yet, in a way, he was glad to see it, because nothing could be worse than the missive he had imagined in his head. He blinked back tears. But there was one consolation.
“It sounds like Leith,” he said, with a laugh.
“It does. I see that now. And there was one way that I should have known that it wasn’t you.” She put her finger over the signature. “Lord Montaigne. You never signed yourself that way—in any of our letters. I’ve never called you by your title.”
He looked at her. “I never wanted you to.”
“I know,” she said, softly. “So, you see, I should have known.” She paused. “If I had been more secure, more sure of you, more sure of myself, I may have seen it. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. Not at that time.”
“I should have told you how special you were to me. I should have made it clear.”
“Yes,” she said, taking his hand again, “But, as you once said, I struggled to give you encouragement. And you were practically a boy.” She shook her head. “It is all in the past now. And we have the present. We are getting married. We do not need to worry about what happened back then. I trust younow. I want to be your wife. So much.”
He put the letter on the table, pushing it to the side.
“You’re right.”
He needed her, he realized. Even one night without her beside him had him aching for her. He touched her cheek and then kissed her, pulling her towards him. She returned his enthusiasm, her hands finding the planes of his chest and then beginning to rove downward.
“I can’t believe it,” she said, “But I don’t think we have ever copulated on this sofa.”
“How can that be true?” he said, his breath coming faster as she snaked her hand down his breeches and found his erect cock.
“I cannot say, but I think it is something that we should remedy immediately.”
