“No one thinks that. You’re just rash and don’t get all the facts before reacting.”
He spread his large hands. “Sometimes it’s better to act than to wait. Will you talk to him?”
He nudged her, refusing to drop his point. “Can’t.”
“Bullshit. Just like we couldn’t?”
Glaring, she sent an elbow into his side. “You could have killed me! Youdidleave me to die.”
“Water under the bridge.”
“Yeah, the water I almost fucking drowned in that night.”
He cringed. “Still, you should talk to him.”
“Maybe.” Brow scrunching, she looked at him. “The little raccoon? Is she okay?”
Topp gifted her a genuine smile, his eyes warming. “Lina? She’s been living with Kava’s Shadow.”
Elysia gaped. “What?”
He nodded like he couldn’t believe it himself. “I jokingly asked her where she’d like to stay since I was going to be gone, and she took me to his front door. I’m not sure who was more shocked, me or him. I think she liked all the food he had.”
“She always seemed too smart for a raccoon,” she mused. “Larkspur’s been with Jessa. I miss the pompous little shit.”
They both went silent. He may have been the worst boyfriend to ever exist, but she was starting to think that Topp Blatz might make an okay friend.
Chapter 37
Elysia stoodon the shores of the river as the Ferryman guided the boats in. She’d been in the Deathlands for over a month, and every day she came here. Winter had broken, and yet it still misted and rained, cold and miserable against her skin. But it didn’t matter, she barely noticed the precipitation slide down her face as she waited for the new arrivals and offered to ease their entrance into their new life. From sunup to sundown, she worked until exhaustion overcame her, and only then would she finally stagger back to the estate, disappointed and ready to collapse. No Beatriz and no indication of any progress learning to rip and transmute despite Maya finally coaching her.
After she’d left Topp, she’d traveled to Bellia, back to the Bone Temple where she’d been welcomed as promised by the priestesses. She’d needed somewhere to rinse her sister’s death from her surface, somewhere to sit in her grief until it hardened enough that she could disappear into strategy and manipulation. Emotionless, she’d sat in the dark amongst the bones, staring at the skeleton throne.
She’d seen Grim and Aidan in passing since returning, but after weeks of unsuccessful attempts to approach her, they’d backed off and surveyed her from a distance. Maya was the onlyperson she spoke to, and she only allowed that because Maya was content to speak strictly of practice. There wasn’t any time to waste lazing around or avoiding how abysmal she was turning out to be at progressing past her current skill level. She’d master her magic even if it killed her.
Most days she would see the faint outline of Aidan down the riverbank as she relieved newcomers of their burdens and fed the death realm the raw power. Other days there would be the strong, powerful flap of Grim soaring overhead. Silently, they watched, waiting for her to come to them. Food and drinks were delivered as she worked, but she had no appetite and barely any thirst. Crusher napped near her feet, periodically opening an eye and then closing it again until it was time to go home.
Today, the Ferryman gave a sharp whistle with his fingers, announcing his arrival, and sent the first resident over to the bench where Elysia always sat. She gave the woman a frayed smile. She wasn’t her sister, and neither was the next person, or the one after that. But she would come here and work until it was her sister who walked up with her silver hair swinging, overconfident even in death.
It was late, the sun already set on the soot-tinged evening, when he finally dared to wait for her to be done for the day. His posture was familiar to her now. Hands behind his back, long wool coat gently waving in the wind, and face drawn. It was getting harder to look at his face, knowing what she did. Day to day, the scales tipped from left to right.
Topp’s advice hung like a stone around her neck as she peered silently up at Aidan, cataloging every beautiful line of his face. The slow-burning fire in his eyes, the chilled flush against his high pale cheeks, even the ever-moving smudges of ink that traveled from his hands to elsewhere when he lost track of himself in his work. She stopped on the wet riverbank beside him, waiting for him to say or do something. He was the one who’d sought her out after all, but Aidan didn’t speak. He simply crooked his elbow, offering herhis arm.
She took it hesitantly, wary gaze on his, but again, he said nothing, allowing the strength of his presence to wash over her and ground her. Leisurely, he guided them back, except instead of turning to the estate, he veered onto a path that cut deeper into the woods. Her feet came to a stop. She was tired and wanted nothing more than to sit under a hot stream of water before sinking into her bed.
Aidan pressed a hand to her lower back, his voice dropping into the soothing, melodic sound she usually loved. “It will only take a minute. I’ll travel you home if you don’t like it.”
A rasping breath sounded in her chest, but she nodded, eyes half-glazed as she slipped back into the numb state she’d been coming in and out of. Silent once again, they walked on, and Elysia realized where he was taking them. The only thing in this direction was her greenhouse.
Glancing at him, she couldn’t even muster up the energy to push back aloud, but she had zero interest in flowers or visiting her greenhouse right now. Her brain conjured the image of her pressed flowers in the transom glass where Beatriz met clients.She named her market after my favorite flower.Opening the greenhouse’s iron-wrapped door, Aidan gestured for her to walk inside. The warmth swallowed her as she lifted her tangled hair off her neck and unbuttoned the top of her coat.
The first workbench was piled with new seed pouches. Aidan walked over to them, holding up the first pouch. “I sourced some new seeds for you from one of my siblings.”
Tired, she leaned against a table, exhaustion pulling her face down. He’d dragged her out here for new seeds?
“They’re all native to Kava, but now likely extinct unless magic returning revives them one day. I thought you might like to plant them in your sister’s honor. You can plant them inside the house for all I care, rip out the hardwood and create a wildflower field. Just please, when you’re ready, talk to me.” Worry creased his face, his hands gripping the seeds a little too tightly as he waited for her to respond.
Elysia’s eyes grew wet and her skin hot beneath her coat. She pressed her mouth shut as her eyelids pinched against the sting of brimming tears. Clenching her hands, she fought the unbearable emotion building in her chest. She didn’t want him to see this. She didn’t want him to be so kind or thoughtful when every night she went back to her bed and forced herself to envision how she would complete the fates’ bidding.
