Leaning down, he whispered in her ear. “Elysia Parker, you were right, and I waswrong.”
Exhausted delirium must have taken her because uncontained giggles had her bending in half until her eyes watered and she hacked for air. “See, that’s what it sounds like when you’re actually funny.”
A small smile warmed Topp’s face. “I know I don’t have the right to ask this, but—” Uncertainty flashed across theprince’s face as his cheeks turned red. “Never mind,” he mumbled, running his fingers through already messy hair.
Curiosity piqued, Elysia stepped out of his grasp so she could face him and pushed gently on his chest. “Say it.”
The court- and forest-raised man in front of her ducked his head, refusing to meet her gaze. “I would like to be your friend.”
A sharp pang cut through her chest. Out of all the things, she hadn’t been expecting that. She spoke cautiously. “Friendship, like any relationship, demands trust.”
He nodded, fully flushed now and still staring at his feet. “Which is why I don’t deserve it.” He heaved a breath. “I’ll never be able to apologize or make up for what I did—for thisversionof me that I’ve become. I know I have no right to ask you for friendship I likely can’t uphold.”
“You’re right,” she said, but reached for his hand, thinking about how grief and pain had warped the best person she knew into this angry, confused man. With thoughts of the boy she’d once known and how much she sometimes hated who she’d become, she offered Topp Blatz a reprieve from his guilt. “Did you know Jessa was in love with Syren Herrin?”
He frowned. “The healer? That?—”
“That I picked out of a lineup for your father.”
His face cleared as he took in the extent of what she was saying.
“Jessa chose to help me anyway because of how important this is. I wouldn’t say we’re friends, but we’re…something like it?”
Topp nodded, studying her intensely like it mattered what she said next. “Where does that leave us?”
“Maybe try to not leave me for dead or double-cross me, and we can revisit this conversation?”
Topp shoved his hands into his pockets with a grin she knew stole hearts all too easily. “Only because it’s you, Parker.”
She rolled her eyes with a smile, knowing better now than to fully believe him.
He stopped outside the room, the lines around his eyesdeepening. “You take your path, Lys, and I’ll take mine. If they intersect… Well, then I would be the luckiest, but somehow, I doubt two curses make a right.”
She huffed. “Just don’t die, okay?”
The prince’s warm hand latched onto her waist as he swept down to press his lips to her cheek. “Take care of yourself, Parker. I’m sure I’ll see you.”
Chapter 20
Topp Blatz would never arguethat he was the smartest man. But he wouldn’t have said he was the dumbest either.
His head cracked above him, causing a loose clod of the gods knew what to crumble down his face and into his eyes.Fuck me. He’d sworn he’d never come back down here again after the last time. Topp rubbed his eyes, straining to see in the dark. Having had a taste of his powers, and then being forced back into stunted scraps was like ripping away a drug he hadn’t known he needed.
He stalked further into the dark, continuing to question his own mental faculties.
Slinking around underfoot the man who had raised him and now had a warrant out for him admittedly wasn’t his wisest decision. Worse than that was being back in these godsforsaken, shit-infested tunnels like he was a rat instead of a fully grown man.
Another clod of dirt disintegrated over him, and familiar tension cramped his lower back as he tried to make himself shorter. He was always stressed. His muscles wouldn’t have known what to do if they weren’t tight enough to pop his head right off his body. Swiping dirt off his face for the second time in less than five minutes, Topp eyed the tunnels with disdain. He doubted they were going to last much longer.
One cursory sweep with his meager power confirmed it. The wildlife was starting to clear out. And when the animals left…humans would be wise to follow.
He had walked into the tunnels in a foul mood, though. The dirt and shit, along with who he was about to see, were only making it worse. He scratched at his face and ended up with dirt under his nails. Elysia had gotten into his head alright. Spitting out words about their relationship in that tavern he hadn’t wanted to hear, trying to taint the only good memories he had over the last few years.
He’d known their relationship hadn’t been perfect, but for him it had been his only reprieve. She wanted to write them off as surface and sex, but it had sprung from friendship, and that part of them had never died. It’d just been suffocated and neglected by the weight of their secrets and duties. Now, she couldn’t even stomach the idea of him in her life. He’d seen the hesitation on her face when he’d said they could work together.
He swatted at an insect. He wouldn’t want to be his friend either. But in some ways, as long as Elysia loved him, then it was like the better, younger part of him was still alive. Like there was still hope he could get back to himself.
But she didn’t love him anymore, and he should know better than to think he could ever go back.
