“Goddess,” Rollie corrected. “And I didn’t know she was going to do that.”
Ignoring them, Elysia turned her attention to the cluster of women to her left, not expecting the sudden sharp pain in her chest that almost keeled her over. Inhaling as the pain returned to its usual dull throb, she straightened. It would be a long time before she got used to seeing Jessa or the Doorman without Beatriz. She still half expected her older sister to barge in and take up all the air in the room with her foul mouth and secretly big heart.
There was nothing to do about that, though.
She took a step closer, and the Doorman threw a hateful look her way, as if Elysia needed the reminder that she was why her sister was gone. Jessa grimaced and clamped a hand down on the Doorman’s shoulder like she was afraid the woman might spring up and attack. A fucked-up part of Elysia almost wished Jessa would let her. She shoved the masochism out of her brain. This was delicate, and she couldn’t afford to be distracted.
Lucy popped back into the room, delivering both Remy and a blindfolded and tied up Daphne. Remy was dressed to kill, like always, in a fitted sleek skirt and brass-buttoned military-esque jacket. She forced a tight smile, and dragged Daphne up the creaky cellar stairs.
Remy trotted back down the stairs, this time with Emmellin Reyez at her side. They both took a seat and motioned for Elysia to begin. Crusher, Elysia’s often present shadow, grunted and plopped down next to her worn-in black boots. She tossed the sweet but terrifying creature a treat from out of her pleated charcoal trouser pocket.
Clearing her throat, Elysia allowed her gaze to run over the roomful of familiar faces. It hadn’t been easy to round up everyone, but she wasn’t going to pull this off alone.
“You all know that I agreed to find Aidan’s talisman and was initiated into the fates’ death voyage. While some voyages takeyears, the clock on mine is almost up. I need to retrieve the talisman, and I need your help to do it.”
Several voices broke out at once, causing Emmellin to soundly rap the blade of her dagger against the wooden chair beside her. “Oy! Everyone shut the fuck up. She’s talking.”
Elysia tipped her head in thanks at Emmellin’s unconventional support. She’d gone to the Reyezes first, running part of her plan past Sylvia and Gage. They’d offered one of their many safe houses, allowing her to take advantage of the anonymity of Lucy traveling everyone directly in and out.
She continued now that everyone had quieted down. “The fates kidnapped me and offered me a deal. If I kill Aidan and usurp the Deathlands throne, then in return, they will handle Garrison and restore Kava. Alternatively, I don’t kill Aidan and they kill me. To be clear, they never had any intention of allowing me to step foot in the death realm, much less complete the death voyage, so their word is thin.”
Jessa let out a low whistle. “Still, you said no? He’s why we’re in this predicament in the first place.”
Elysia nodded, and the knots in her stomach twisted. This is where she knew she might lose them. She couldn’t expect anyone else to see past Aidan’s mistakes. Not when they’d lived exactly as she had—afraid of dying and watching people they loved fall prey to the soot and execution.
“While you’re right, it was more complicated than that. To become a god, you must die and be remade. The fates offered Aidan his role years before it was intended to be his, and he declined. They killed him and his friends and carried on with their plan. Aidan stole a fated object, one of the only ways gods can die, and tried to complete suicide. He had been killed and brought back as a god without his consent, and he rebelled.”
“Damn,” Emmellin remarked. “They don’t tell these stories in the temple.”
Elysia nodded. “As punishment for trying to end his life and escape his divine role, the fates altered his fate and mine. All ofours, really. They promised him he’d never be able to reach his counterpart, never fully claim his power or throne. After a century, he believed them. He made the deal with Garrison to spite them, hoping to provoke them into ending him, not realizing what would happen when so many natural laws were broken.” She grew quiet, afraid of their response. “Again, you’re right. In some ways, it is very much his fault. At the same time, he was manipulated and violated by the fates the same as us. I can promise you that he’s worked tirelessly to undo what he set in motion and will continue to do so now.”
The prince broke the tension with terrible, off-time humor. “Bet I’m looking pretty good right now, aren’t I?” He stretched, his arms folding behind his head and a lazy grin sliding across his face.
“I don’t know. Given that my standards were atcan’t leave me for dead, I’d say he’s doing okay.” Grateful he’d eased the room, she threw him a small half smile, and he winked.
“Killing Aidan is the cleaner option.” Rollie’s clear blue eyes held hers. “I’m surprised you’re considering other plans.”
Swallowing, she nodded. She’d known someone would point this out, but it was still uncomfortable to address aloud to a roomful of people she cared about.
“Yes,” she said softly. “It is the easier option, and it may even be the better option. Garrison gone. The kingdoms restored, but I can’t do it.”
“Why?” The Doorman’s voice was the crack of a whip.
Elysia met her anger solemnly. “Because I think I might be able to love him. In the short amount of time, I’ve known Aidan—I’ve changed. For the first time, I can picture a life worth having, and it’s because of him. He made a foolish, short-sighted mistake, but I’ve made so many more, and he’s never once judged me. He’s only ever offered to stand by me, support me, tried to love me.” She lifted her arm with the golden strands shimmering against her skin. “You don’t have to help me. No one could blame you, but I already made my choice, and it’s him.”
The Doorman’s dark eyes misted over, and she quickly averted her gaze, before looking back with her eyes brighter and voice rough. “What did Beatriz say when you went to her?”
Elysia held her own tears at bay at the mention of her sister. “I asked her if she would choose love or survival, and she said she would choose you. That you were a better person than her, and she wouldn’t want to live without you.”
Face dropping into her hands, the Doorman’s quiet sobs filled the silence in the room. Jessa put a hand on the Doorman’s silk-clad back. “Not that we’re agreeing to help but…tell us how this would go.”
Emmellin gave her an encouraging nod, and Elysia gestured at the stairs. “You might have seen Remy escort Daphne upstairs.”
Jessa snickered at this. “Fucking Garrison is gross, but what exactly are you going to do with her? Shame her for being a horrible person?”
Topp made a noise of discomfort, and Elysia almost laughed. “I considered finding a random mortal who can summon others, but I decided to try to sway Daphne first. If I know Daphne, then as ambitious as she can be, she’s not fucking him for the fun of it. If I’m wrong, then we’ll find someone else and handle her.”
“There’s the cold bitch we all know and love.” Rollie commented, his scrutiny on her unwavering, still waiting for her to deliver them a plan.
