The Doorman stared at this as if it were the most adorable sight. “You’re getting much faster, my love. Well done.”
Elysia looked between the two of them incredulously.Seriously? “She was asleep with drool running down her face. As youjust said, I’m fairly certain she would’ve been dead if anyone had broken in here. ThatIwould have been dead.”
The Doorman frowned. “Positive reinforcement is a much better tool than verbal flagellation, Elysia. Sometimes I think you two were raised by demons the way you respond.”
Elysia rubbed her eyes, mumbling to herself, “The Doorman. The Doorman is telling me my damages. Perfect.”
The bedroom window popped open, and the prince stuck his head in from where he had been apparently sitting on the ledge and surveilling the situation.
“They really are snarly little beasts sometimes. I’ve tried training her, but…” The prince shrugged as if it were too great a burden for even him to bear.
Elysia grabbed the nearest tome from her desk and chucked it with all the force she could gather straight at his chest. The book hit his chest with a thump, both his arms reflexively flapping and letting go of the building.
Elysia watched him fall straight back and down out the window. Good riddance. A muffled groan echoed up to the flat. She turned and faced the room again. “He thinksnowis the time to find his sense of humor again? Ugh.”
Jessa sat up with a yawn. “What the fuck was that noise?”
“Elysia’s bound and determined to assassinate the prince. I tried so hard to stop her...” The Doorman fanned her fingers and examined her nails.
Still off kilter from her travels, Elysia’s temper cracked. “I swear to the undead fucking gods if you all don’t get your shit together—do you think this is a carnival? A time for laughs and half-assed measures? I go to the realm of the dead and you’re taking anap?Are you kidding me right now?”
Elysia marched over to the window, slamming it shut and locking it this time. “You couldn’t even manage to lock a window, Beatriz? Honestly, it’s like you wanted something to go wrong.”
Jessa cleared her throat and cut in before the Parkers could scratch and hiss away the time. “If we could redirect our attention to Elysia visiting a death god?”
All the girls fell quiet, and Elysia deflated, the familiar restriction of shame and fear tightening within her. She’d failed them. She’d failed all of them. Her beloved home with its beautiful, stubbornly colorful doors and all its people. Not that they’d ever know. But she had.
“Do you think we could make some tea?” Disappointment softened all of their faces, and Elysia swallowed against the sinking pit in her stomach.
Jessa hesitated as she walked past before finally wordlessly clapping a hand on Elysia’s shoulder in silent solidarity. Elysia looked down at the floor, feeling her face tense against tears that suddenly wanted to flow. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. It had been a long shot and yet she clearly had been banking on it more than she realized to feel this bleak and miserable now.
A few minutes later, they were all curled up like cats amongst the couch, pillows, and blankets of Elysia’s living room. Scents of chamomile and lavender curled into the air. She was glad she’dremembered to snag some tea off of Lynd because tonight called for a little warmth and was well worth the indulgence.
Beatriz plunked down her mug, seemingly tired of waiting. She’d been making faces for the past five minutes while she sipped her tea and apparently had hit her limit of pretending to like the taste of dead plants.
“So, death god, undead god of the dead. What’re we workin’ with? Negotiations? A deal? Hit me.” She rubbed her hands together.
Elysia took in the razor glint of excitement and something akin to lust shining in her sister’s eyes with some perplexity. “You get off on this shit, don’t you?”
The Doorman grinned with pride and ran perfectly manicured fingers down Beatriz’s silky locks. “Obviously. You’re not the only talented Parker, Elysia.”
Triz shushed her girlfriend by pressing an indelicate hand over her painted mouth and didn't seem to mind when sharp teeth caught her fingers. “So?”
Elysia set her mug on the floor and avoided eye contact as she answered. “There’s no deal. No negotiations. The bastard wants me to find atalismanto unlock his bound powers. Long story short, he fucked up a deal and now Kava and his realm are screwed. He’s useless.” She bit off the words and folded her arms.
Triz waggled her brows. “What kind of talisman?”
“For the undead gods’ sake, Beatriz, I am not hunting for an object that could beanywhere. I’m not a treasure hunter! It’s a terrible deal. Actually, it’s worse than a terrible deal. It’s a trap. I refuse to be the one who pays the price for this god’s stupidity. He got us all into this mess and he can figure out a solution himself.”
The Doorman toyed with a strand of Triz’s hair. “Then what do you propose? Since he’ssouseless.”
Elysia sat up and shot the Doorman a look. “I propose that we do what we should have done in the first place—we get the dirt we need to make a better deal. I don’t buy that this is the best he can do. If anyone can find a chokehold on someone, it’s me, and I swear I will find the secret that will bend this god’s will. He gave me two weeks to return.”
The Doorman shivered and fanned herself. “Goodnight, you could have just told us he’s hot as the death realm itself and that your panties are in a twist. No wonder you negotiated so terribly.” She patted Elysia’s knee. “It’s okay, darling, we can train that out of you. You’ve spent far too much time with only one man, but the House always provides what you need.” She dropped a coy, understanding sort of look in Elysia’s direction.
Beatriz made barfing noises, while Elysia glared silently at them all.
Jessa’s eyes went wide at Elysia’s reaction, her eyebrows practically to her hairline. “Oh my gods, you really did have it out for the god of the dead. Soot and storms, Elysia, first a prince who could turn you in and have you hung at any last breath, and now the god of the dead? You need serious help.” She hooted mercilessly, and Elysia turned a vibrant shade of red.
