I never thought I’d be the guy who saves anyone, and in a sense I haven’t been because she’s so damn strong. Breaking through her walls has taken patience, and proving I’m never going to hurt her has been challenging, but I understand.
With therapy, I have come to terms with the fact that if someone wants to break your trust and walk away, it is a projection of them and not anything I have done.
The only thing I can do is my best, and hope someone will take me as I am.
In just a month, Clara’s organization has already grown into something incredible. Helping women leave situations with their children has filled us with more love than I thought possible.
Anger and frustration often follow, because I don’t understand how a person can hurt another in so many different ways.
Driving home, I hope she’s there, but I know she has accepted the new manager position, and this nonprofit means everything to her.
I would be lying if I said I didn’t wish she’d have more time for me, but I will always stand in the background waiting for when she is ready.
My phone screams through the car, and I push a few buttons before Curt’s voice comes through.
“What’s up?”
“Did you clear a fire and oil drum for the warehouse?” He sounds stressed.
“No. Is that what’s there?” I glance out the rearview and check the mirrors.
Pulling a U-turn, I head toward the place where we have allowed Clara to play. I’m not about to judge how she heals. All I can do is provide for her.
“I checked it out, and she’s in there. I’m going to lay down the law to her. She has to fucking call me. I know she’s independent for a reason, but it’s going to get her killed someday.”
“She’s…” Drumming my fingers on the steering wheel, I don’t even know what to tell him.
“She’s a danger to herself. I understand what she’s doing, but I’m only here to help. Clara can’t become a man-hater who questions everyone, like I don’t have my own devious past or that I’ve done some fucked things.”
I click my tongue as I pull into the lot. “I’ll talk to her.”
“You give her everything—which is great; she needs that. I’ll do the tough love. I’m used to being the bad guy, anyway.”
He ends the call as I pull up next to his dark sedan.
Getting out, I meet him at the front of our cars. Dark circles line his eyes, and I think he’s gotten greyer. “She’s aging you.”
“Youbothfucking age me. Let’s go see what she’s doing.”
We walk in the darkness to the side office, and I click on the monitors. It’s a shocking sight with the door slightly open facing the fields to let the smoke out.
Clara has rigged up an oil drum above a fire, and an average-sized man stands holding on to the edges.
When Curt tries slamming through the door to her, I pull on his shoulder. We sit in the office chairs at the monitors, and I turn on the audio.
“You know, pieces of shit like you are everywhere.” Clara stalks around the drum and gathers kindling, which she adds to the fire.
He tries to climb out but keeps falling back down. I’m unsure what she has done to him to keep him in the drum, but it is working well.
She’s gorgeous in her element, strong not only mentally but physically. I gaze at him and remember the case he is tied to.
“Fuck,” I sigh.
“Do you know who he is?”
Leaning back in the chair, I feel like I’m invading her privacy. However, it’s better she has help if it becomes needed, even though I know she won’t ask for it.
“Couple weeks ago, a woman came in and used the services. She went back and tried again. It was very back and forth. When she left for good, he killed her.” Tears stream down my face. I remember this one as if it happened to my own family.
