Clara walks in from work, her jeans covered in flour, her hair pinned in a messy bun. I don’t want to handle her as if she might break. It’s not fair to treat her like she is so fragile. A fire burns in her soul, and once we’re done taking out the trash I intend to show her I’m different, that I will go to the ends of the earth for her.
“Hey,” she says sheepishly, wiping her palms on her jeans before hanging her coat up.
“I have news. Good or bad—what do you want first?” Slipping my hands into my pockets, I lean against the counter.
“Bad first, I guess.” She sighs and pads down the hall to stand next to me.
I drop a kiss on her forehead and grab a bottle of water, knowing Debbie can only push so much food and fluids on my dragonfly before she refuses. “Well, they’re linked, so you get both this way,” I tell her. “I found him, and he still lives in your childhood home.”
Clara shivers, taking a drink of water before twisting her lips in disgust. “It always felt like someone was around. I thought I was just paranoid from Ryan.”
A fist of anxiety squeezes my heart. I should have stepped in and protected her sooner, but I’ve learned from Curt there was nothing I could have done unless I saved her as a child.
“When will we go?”
I wrap my hands around her waist and bring her closer. “Soon.”
“Now?” she asks, glancing up at me and biting her lip.
I am not a sadist, but I question my need to watch violence happen. Never to women or children—they are sacred as far as I’m concerned. But viewing karma collect what she’s earned gives me thrills I’ve never been able to explain.
“Go get ready. We have something else to do tonight.”
Clara’s eyes widen, and she nods before slipping out of my arms. For a split second things don’t feel right, and I reach for her shoulder.
She flinches, and I curse myself. “I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do. I wanted to take you on a date is all.”
“Don’t treat me like I’m gonna shatter under your fingertips. I can’t control what I do with your actions. The therapist said it’lltake time. I appreciate you wanting to show me what real dating is like.”
Uncertainty hangs in the air, and I wrap her in my arms. Pressing a kiss onto her head, I pull her back at arm’s length. “I don’t mean to treat you that way. This is all a learning process, Dragonfly. I promise I’ll try better, and we’ll get the monsters that haunt you. I’ll make the plans for tomorrow night.”
Her facial features soften, and she moves against me to peck my chin. “Thanks, Burke, you’re a lot more easy going then I initially thought,” she whispers before disappearing down the hall, and I hear her steps up the stairs.
Following her, I shut everything off in my office. I get into the shower and rush through it before shaving. I have become more relaxed, and I cannot figure out when that happened. It’s like I went through my own change after Ryan’s death.
“What do I wear?” she asks as she enters the room in a towel.
As much as I’d like her to wear that, I smirk in the reflection and keep my gaze on her face. “There’re two dresses in the closet I bought. If you don’t like either, we’ll find something else.”
She heads back to the bedroom, and I finish shaving. I don’t know how not to control someone who needs control. I want to give her what she desires, but I refuse to become another one of her monsters.
“This is too much, Burke,” she says.
Patting my face, I turn to look at her and damn near choke on my breath. Clara’s light brown hair circles around her neck, and she has chosen the royal-blue dress that clings to every curve. Now that she is eating again, she’s filled out. The slinky fabric falls in all the right places, and the hip cutout teases the hell out of me.
“You’re breathtaking,” I tell her. “Let me get dressed and we’ll be on our way.”
Clara ducks her head as I walk past, and I let it go for now. While she’s in the bathroom, I slip into a dark grey suit and add a royal-blue tie to match her.
She comes out of the bathroom with light makeup on, and my heart does a somersault. Grabbing the box with the shoes I bought, I point to the bench at the end of the bed, and she sits.
“You take my commands so well. I’m trying to be what you need from me, Clara, but I’ll never become the monsters you know. Even if it feels comfortable, we have to treat some parts of you as fragile, becauseyoumatter, and I’ll do whatever I can for you to see that. My dominance is never aboutmypower. Only yours.”
“I don’t know why I need it. How does it even make sense, Burke? I should run for the hills when someone tries to control me.”
Kneeling in front of her, I stroke her calf as I slip on her shoe. “Things don’t always make sense, but it might feel comfortable. Abuse shouldn’t feel that way, but it does. You can’t change that, although we can build on this to make our relationship whatever you need. I’ve always been more dominant, and I’ll work on not treating you like glass.”
Rising, I hold out my hand, and we walk down the stairs before heading out the door to the Lexus.
