He lets out a low whistle while glancing around. “Shit. I’d hate to be on her bad side. I’m glad, though. If she didn’t do it, I’d be here for her and have to kill that cocksucker myself.”
“Agreed. If I would’ve noticed things sooner, I could’ve helped her,” I tell him, running my hand through my hair.
Slipping on the gloves, I head toward the kitchen and start removing Ryan. I don’t always help Curt, but it feels right this time.
We work together, and he puts Ryan in a body bag. We carry it out to the trunk together before heading back to clean up the apartment and get rid of any evidence. Curt will take care of it all after he leaves.
He grips my shoulder, and I stare at him. “You couldn’t have helped, unless she wanted you to know.”
Picking up the many utensils she used and bagging them, I sigh. “Still, I could’ve forced her away or something.”
“No, you don’t get it. Ryan was likely Prince fucking Charming for a good chunk of time, made her fall in love with him and put her under a spell. Each time he hurt her, there was an apology and maybe gifts. You couldn’t have saved her.”
We work together on the congealed blood and clean up the shreds of skin on the floor. “How come?”
“The best analogy I ever got was, if you put a frog in a pot of boiling water, it jumps out, eh?”
I nod, and some of my guilt for not saving her dissolves.
“You put the same frog in a pot of cool water, and slowly turn up the heat? It lets itself be cooked. Burke, there’s nothing you could’ve done. Even if you tried, she would’ve turned against you.”
Gritting my teeth, I nod. “I wish it was different. I didn’t raise him this way, and I wanted to save her as soon as I found out.”
“My ma was in a bad relationship for most of my teen years. I begged for her to leave—hell, I stood up to the bastard myself. By the time she was ready to go, I was heading into college, but I was there that night, and when she left…” Curt pauses wiping and looks out the kitchen window. “He hunted her down and gutted her in front of me. In the abuser’s mind, they own them, and leaving is so fucking dangerous. It’s kill or be killed.”
“Man, I’m sorry. I had no idea.” I go back to scrubbing.
He nods and continues mopping. “Yeah, no one does. It’s not something we bring up. I want you to know that what you’re doing now will help her. Show her the right way to be loved and get her some help.”
“Will do. Thanks for all of this.”
He laughs lightly. “It’s why you pay me the big bucks.”
We continue working until the kitchen is spotless, then take all of Ryan’s belongings out of the apartment.
If she wants to return here, she can decorate any way she wants without the ugly reminders of fear haunting her.
Six
Clara
It’s been three months since the night with Ryan.
Burke has been helping me every step of the way, and although I never thought I’d lean on anyone again, it has been really nice.
At first I was hesitant and wondered what he wanted, but after weeks passed I soon found out he didn’t expect anything.
With his help, I have been able to get into therapy which I’m sure comes with a hefty bill, but he won’t let me know what it is. I’ve been going to the gym and working with a coach to teach me how to fight, not that I think it’ll do any good in the future, but it’s making me feel stronger and capable.
I got this job at the diner, and working here is the next step in becoming financially independent.
Having control over my life has been hard, and I worry constantly that I will fail. Burke assures me I won’t, and even if I did, it would be okay. I ache for him even though I’m sure that’s wrong, because he’s Ryan’s father.
Burke has cuddled me every night, providing a comfort that I haven’t been able to let go of since the first night. Nothing happens past the sleeping, as if he’s afraid I’ll shatter like glass if we take it any further. I wish he’d make the first move, because I don’t believe in myself enough to do it.
Wiping the counter, I let go of the thoughts when the bell dingles at the door.
“Clara, funny seeing you here. I thought that boyfriend of yours didn’t let you work?” The nasal voice that haunts my nightmares is alive and well behind me.
