“My sweet, sweet girl,” he breathed, holding her tightly. “How do you… are you certain of this?”
Emberley was tucked up against him, protected and safe. She wanted to stay there for the rest of her life. At the moment, she didn’t feel nearly the fear she had been feeling seconds earlier. Gart seemed to have the ability to suck the fear right out of her.
“I have had four children, Gart,” she said with some irony. “I know when I am with child.”
He suddenly held her at arm’s length, looking her over. There was a quiver to his movements, as if everything were all bottled up inside of him and waiting to come bursting forth. Even his hands were shaking as he gripped her.
“But… how?” he asked, correcting himself when he realized how stupid that sounded. “What I mean to say is why did you not tell me before now?”
She couldn’t tell if he was upset or thrilled. She wiped at the tears on her face, composing herself.
“I am only now certain,” she said. “I was not going to tell you my suspicions until I was certain. There was no need to upset you.”
His eyebrows flew up. “Upsetme?” he repeated, almost outraged. “Did you truly believe this news would upset me?”
She shrugged weakly. “I was not sure,” she said honestly. “In fact, while you were out shooting the buck, I was sitting at the table trying to determine just how I should tell you. It is not as if we do not have enough worries on our minds.”
He knew she was right. It was both joyous and terrible news. With a heavy sigh, he pulled her back into his powerful embrace, feeling her soft warmth against him. He leaned back against the cold stone, holding her as his mind wandered to the new scenario now presented. Now, things had changed dramatically.
“It is not as if we did not know this could happen,” he said softly. “We have been with each other nightly. I did not have to spill my seed inside of you but… I was selfish. I wanted to. To lose that joy and that expression of my feelings for you somehow made the act itself seem trite and incomplete.”
Her head was against his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart. “I became pregnant very quickly with my children,” she confessed. “In fact, Julian has truly only touched me a handful of times since we have been married, and only then he did it until I conceived, which was mercifully quick. I seem to be very fertile. I knew this could happen but it did not discourage me. You belong to me, Gart, as I belong to you. Conceiving a child in such love does not seem wrong.”
He grunted in agreement. “Nay, it does not,” he whispered. “But the fact remains that the situation has changed considerably. We must make some hard decisions and make them quickly.”
She was coming to feel afraid again. “I told you once that I will trust you to do what is right. I still trust you, more than ever. What shall we do?”
Gart had been thinking on that subject for more than seven weeks. There were times he would wake up in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep because his mind was whirling with thought. He would lay there with Emberley in his arms,staring at the ceiling and wondering what in the world he was going to do. As much as he loved living a fantasy life at Dunster, the truth was that he could not do that any longer. He had to make a decision and follow that path through to completion or the consequences could be deadly.
But he needed time to clear his thoughts. A pending child had changed everything. He put his enormous hands on Emberley’s face, kissing her sweetly in the dim light of the buttery.
“Go inside and take the nooning meal with the children,” he told her. “I will see you later and we will make plans.”
She nodded. “As you say,” she replied. “Will you not take the meal with us?”
“Nay. I will see you later.”
“Where are you going?”
He paused. “To see a priest.”
She blinked. “Priest?” she repeated. “What about?”
He grinned. “Can I not keep any secrets from you?”
She returned his smile, reluctantly. “I did not mean to pry, but if you are going to confession, do not go to the church in town or in Minehead. Those priests are loyal to Julian and they would not hesitate to tell him your confession.”
Gart nodded, his smile fading. “I understand. Thank you for the warning. But I did not intend to go to confession.”
“May I ask what you intend to do?”
“I want to know what the church would consider grounds for a divorce.”
She looked at the man as if he had lost his mind. Gart quietly opened the door, peering out into the kitchen yard to see that the cook and the two male servants had returned to butcher the buck. They were far enough away that Gart and Emberley were able to slip from the buttery unseen. Gart touched her hand sweetly before moving off towards the stables while Emberley continued on to the keep.
Lost in thoughts of a divorce, Emberley rounded the corner of the keep from the stables and kitchen yard area into the main body of the bailey. She could hear soldiers on the wall, shouting to one another, but she was used to the commotion and didn’t give it much thought. Life went on around her, dogs and men and horses, but she ignored it as she pondered her future. She was afraid, but she was also hopeful. At the moment, she couldn’t really decide what she was feeling because it was all so surreal. Like Gart, she needed time to sort her thoughts out as well.
Mounting the stairs, she noticed that there seemed to be a good deal of activity on the walls, enough that it jarred her from her thoughts. Glancing up, Emberley could see that Gart had mounted the walls and his men were talking to him, pointing out into the countryside beyond. Curious but not overly so, Emberley continued into the keep where her children were taking their meal.
