The warmth faded from Julian’s eyes as he looked at him. “Then it is little wonder that my return was an unwelcome sight.”
“Unwelcome, indeed. But in hindsight, not entirely unexpected.”
That bit of news put a new light on the situation and the warmth and hope in Julian’s eyes went out completely. He felt sick in the pit of his stomach to realize that Louis had jumped his claim on Lista. His delay in asking permission to court her had cost him. Now, that right belonged to Louis.
He remembered his conversation with Addington when she told him that she feared Louis might pursue Lista simply out of anger and it seemed that his little sister had been correct. Until this moment, he’d held out hope that it hadn’t happened, but now he knew the truth.
He’d lost.
Everything.
“Then I will not interfere,” he said, though he nearly choked on every word. “As a man of honor, I will surrender any claim or intentions I had towards the lady. You were correct when you said that I did not deserve her. I am a most unworthy man of such a magnificent woman. Youareworthy, de Rhos, and not just because you are the son of an earl. You are a man of integrity and I respect that. Pray… be good to her. And do not think too poorly of me in the years to come.”
With that, he turned away, looking for his horse, feeling a lump in his throat as he did so. Although it was well and good to return to Felkington to seek forgiveness, it was clear that was all hecouldseek. He’d made a mistake and Lista was now spoken for.
But not to him.
His horse was several feet away, grazing on a patch of fat, wet grass, so Julian headed in that direction. Tears began tofill his eyes because behind him, he could hear weeping and he knew it was Lista. She was weeping for him, for what they could have had. For what would never be. Blindly, Julian grabbed for his horse’s reins, desperate to get clear of Felkington before he broke down completely. He had to get out of there before he lost himself.
“Julian, wait.”
Louis was calling after him and he staggered to a halt, making sure there were no tears on his face before turning around to see that Lista was wiping the tears from her cheeks. Louis looked at her, his swollen face registering concern.
Compassion.
When Louis spoke, it was to Lista.
“Part of courtship is understanding if you and the lady you wish to court are fond of one another,” he said. “I know that you were fond of Julian before you ever met me. I know that you wished for him to court you. You told me yourself. Had you not forgiven him when he came seeking your grace, this would not have been an issue. But clearly, you have forgiven him. As much as I want you to be fond of me and not him, I cannot in good conscience push this courtship any further. You would be miserable and I could not be the cause of it. I would much rather see you happy, even if it is at my own expense.”
Lista wiped the tears from her chin. “Do you mean that?”
“As difficult as it is for me to say it, I do.”
Lista stared at him a moment as if waiting for him to change his mind, but he simply looked at her. There was regret in his expression, but he wouldn’t go back on his word. When she realized this, a smile spread across her lips.
“Louis,” she said, reaching out to put a soft hand on his battered face. “That is the greatest gift you could give me. You have given me back my happiness and, for that, I shall always be grateful.”
Louis forced a smile, feeling her warm hand against his face and knowing it would be the one and only time he would feel her flesh against his. But he wasn’t sorry. He knew he’d done the right thing.
“Prove it to me by being truly and deliriously joyful all the days of your life,” he said, turning to look at Julian, who was standing there in shock. “And take care of that big dolt. He needs it.”
Julian was indeed in shock. His gaze was fixed on Louis in disbelief. “Never has anyone done something so completely selfless for me,” he finally said. “I do not deserve it, but I will strive to be worthy of that gift. My heart may belong to Lista, but my sword and loyalty belong to you. Whatever you need, Louis, truly… all you need do is send word to me. I will come.”
Louis smiled weakly. “One de Velt brother already had a woman taken from him by a de Rhos,” he said. “I could not repeat history. Take her and welcome her, Julian. When I marry, I want it to be a woman who looks at me the way Lista looks at you. I know that now. I was trying to force something that would have made us all miserable.”
“It is a wise man who realizes his follies.”
“If you realized yours, I can realize mine.”
Julian smiled at the man. He couldn’t help it. Louis smiled in return, as much as his swollen mouth would allow, and moved away from Lista, heading off to find his horse who had bolted away during the fight. As Louis wandered down the road, calling for his steed, Julian turned to Lista.
One moment he was looking at her and in the next, she was in his arms.
He didn’t know how it happened, only that it had. The first real touch, the first real embrace, and the first real kiss all came together in a clash of flesh and blood and emotion. Juliancould feel Lista alternately weeping and giggling as he kissed her furiously, realizing that he was weeping and giggling, too.
It was joy.
It was bliss.
