Julian’s gaze lingered on her for a moment before he finally shook his head. “And he would be correct,” he said quietly. “A wise man would not have reacted so abruptly, but I am not yet a wise man. I can be rash and stupid. Mama, I think you were right.”
Kellington stood up from her chair. “About what?”
Julian watched her come around the end of the table. “You said that when Papa told me that I must find my greatness, mayhap he really meant that I must find my happiness,” he said. “I do not know why that never occurred to me. I always thought he meant becoming the greatest warrior in the north, a great leader, someone well-esteemed like Cole. But mayhap that’s not where I shall find my greatness. My path is different from my brother’s.”
“Indeed, it is,” Kellington said. “If you realize that, then you are indeed growing as a man. That is all your father wanted for you, Julian. To not be afraid oflife. To embrace it and to find your happiness. Even if it is not with Lista, you must give yourself that chance and not be afraid of it.”
Julian hung his head even as he nodded. “I realize that,” he said. Then he forced a smile, but it was a nervous smile. “It is difficult to allow myself to be vulnerable. I will admit that to you, but to no one else. You have always seemed to understand me better than Papa ever did.”
Kellington put her hand on his cheek. “He understood you more than you know,” she said. “You are his son with a tender heart, deep feeling and compassionate. Cole and Cassian cannot claim that, but you can. Whatever your greatness is, Julian, I have confidence that you will find it. Mayhap it is at Felkington. You will never know unless you try.”
Julian nodded. Kellington kissed him on the cheek and left the solar, leaving Addington still there, still watching herbrother, who seemed to be summoning his courage to return to Felkington and face what he had done.
She took a few steps towards him.
“Do you want me to go with you?” she asked. “Back to Felkington?”
Julian turned to her. “Nay,” he said, though he was smiling. “Ever my champion, Addie, but I must do this on my own.”
Addington smiled at him. “May I give you some advice?”
“Why not?”
Addington sobered. “Appeal to Lista,” she said softly. “I do believe she is falling in love with you, so appeal to her growing feelings for you. Show her what I know– show her what a good man you are. I know she will make you happy, Julian. You must give her that chance.”
He sobered, too. “I will,” he said. “And thank you… for everything, Addie. I do not know where I would be without you.”
Addington grinned as she turned away. “Lonely and bitter,” she said. “No one else will pester you like I do until you have a wife, although Mama will try. But she does not pester as well as I do.”
“That is very true. You are annoying.”
“And you are dense.”
“I love you, Addie.”
Addington paused at the chamber door, giggling. “And I love you,” she said. “But you are an idiot sometimes.”
Julian just stood there and chuckled because she was quite correct. He reallywasan idiot sometimes. But he intended to change that if he could.
If Lista would allow it.
He was going to find out.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Felkington Castle
“It seems tome that you two have manipulated this entire situation,” Lista said. “You saw Julian and Louis as potential suitors for me and then you somehow manipulated the circumstances so that one or both would ask to court me.”
She was standing in the doorway of that filthy, smelly tower chamber, glaring at her mother and aunt, who were gazing back at her in various stages of bewilderment and defiance. At least, Meadow appeared bewildered while Flora seemed defiant.
The woman didn’t bend easily when it came to her niece.
“If you had done your duty as the daughter of the House of de la Mere, we would not have had to manipulate anything,” Flora said. “Do not blame us for your lack of duty, Lista. Be fortunate that we found two viable candidates. Now, you have the son of an earl who wishes to court you and any normal girl would be thrilled at the prospect.”
After speaking to Louis, Lista knew her aunt and mother had arranged that entire encounter in the vineyard but hearing her aunt confess to it made her blood boil.
“I should have suspected,” she said coldly. “It did not occur to me when Louis came to the vineyard and said that he’d beentold I wanted to bid him a private farewell, but it should have. I should have known you were behind the entire event that sent Julian fleeing from Felkington.”
