He still wasn’t beyond such things at times.
“What is it?” he said as he sank back in the chair, putting fingers to his forehead as if to rub away the headache that was sure to come. “Say what you will and get it over with.”
Kellington watched her son as he massaged his forehead, his unhappiness at the subject matter radiating from him like a fog. “I have heard your side of the story regarding what happened at Felkington,” she said. “I have heard what Addie has to say, also, and I must say that the two versions differ tremendously.”
Julian sighed sharply. “What does it matter?” he said, looking to both his mother and his sister. “What does any of this matter? It is my life and I do not need or want any interference.”
He caught Addington’s eyes and she frowned. “Julian, I do not understand how you cannot admit when you are wrong,” she said. “You thought you saw Lista and Louis in an embrace and I told you that he was carrying her because she hurt her ankle. That is the only reason he had her in his arms– so he could help her. What was he supposed to do? Leave her on the ground?”
Julian’s jaw ticked dangerously. “I’ve heard the lies before, Addie,” he growled. “I will not believe them again.”
“Even if they are the truth?” Addington fired back. “You are blind, Julian, and what’s worse is that your foolishness is of your own making. You created this misery for yourself because you created a situation in your mind that does not exist.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Neither doyou!” Addington said. “That’s the problem– neither do you but you’re too stubborn to admit it!”
Julian looked at her, his eyes flashing. “Don’t tell me what to think.”
“Lista was falling in love with you, you idiot!”
They were starting to shout and Kellington put her hand up to silence them both. Frustrated, Addington turned away while Julian sat there and clenched his teeth.
“Julian,” Kellington said quietly. “A wise and reasonable man would have asked for an explanation of what he saw. Addie seems to think that Lista and Louis de Rhos are honorable people. Would they not tell you the truth if you asked?”
Julian wouldn’t look at her. “Why should they?” he said. “There is sport in making me the butt of jokes.”
“But how would they know that?” Kellington said. “More importantly, what do they have to gain by doing it? You seem to think they are out to punish you or humiliate you for somereason, but my question would be why? What would be their motivation?”
Julian hissed and stood up, abruptly. “You just do not understand.”
“Sit down, Julian.”
It was not a request. Julian sat back down but he perched on the edge of the chair, refusing to look at his mother.
“As I was saying,” Kellington continued. “They have no reason to make a fool of you. Addie says that Lady Lista is falling in love with you, so why would she want to humiliate you? When you were told she’d hurt her ankle, did you even look after her to see if she was well? She could have hurt herself quite badly and de Rhos was the only one available to help her. Does that mean they were deliberately trying to humiliate you?”
Julian’s jaw ticked faintly. “Mayhap not.”
Kellington leaned forward, folding her hands on the tabletop. “Tell me exactly what you saw that led you to believe they were carrying on behind your back.”
Julian was starting to calm but he was still grinding his teeth. He didn’t want to answer his mother, but he knew that wouldn’t end well. She’d break him down and force him to answer in the end. Therefore, it was easier to simply get it over with.
“I came through the garden gate,” he muttered. “There is an archway in the garden that leads to the vineyard. Through that archway, I could see them with their arms around each other.”
“Were they standing?”
“De Rhos was.”
“Where was Lady Lista?”
Julian shrugged. “At his feet,” he said. “Mayhap she was sitting.”
“Or mayhap he was picking her up from the ground where she fell.”
Julian didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to because the logic was sound. He knew it so there was no sense fighting it. Kellington watched her son’s profile for a moment.
“Julian, I know you’ve been bullied in your life,” she said quietly. “I know there are people who have betrayed you and I know that is why you protect yourself. But you are going to protect yourself into a celibate and lonely life. I know it is difficult to trust people, but you must learn to do that. You must learn that not everyone is out to hurt you. I do not believe Lady Lista or Sir Louis were out to hurt you, but by your behavior towards them, you have hurt them a great deal. You have become the very thing you hate– rigid, cruel, and judgmental. Do you understand that?”
