“That is what I told him,” Addington said. “But somehow, he saw you in Louis’ arms and he thought… he thought both you and Louis had made a fool of him.”
Lista had gone from shocked to immediate concern. “Addie, that is simply not true,” she insisted. “I would never hurt Julian, not while there was breath left in my body. When Louis and I were in the vineyard, for a brief moment, I thought I saw Julian in the garden gate but he was quickly gone. That must have been when he saw us.”
Addington sighed heavily. “He most certainly saw you,” she said. “He saw you in Louis’ arms and thought the worst.”
Lista took her foot out of the bucket. “But why?” she said, feeling a great deal of angst. “Why should he think such a thing? I have never given him any reason to think so poorly of me.”
Addington could see that this was becoming a big mess. “I know,” she said. “But I told you that other women have treated him poorly. I told you that Julian was hand shy. I’m afraid my brother thought he was about to be struck again. It has happened before and he knows that pain. That humiliation. The worst part is that I think he’s liked you more than any other woman he’s ever known, so he’s hurt. Very hurt.”
Lista gripped the chair she was sitting on as she stood up. “Where is he?” she said, trying to walk. “Take me to him immediately, Addie. I must explain things to him.”
Addington reached out to stop her, trying to direct her back into the chair. “You cannot,” she said. “Lista, he left. He gathered his things and left.”
Lista came to a halt, teetering to one side because it hurt to put her weight on her right ankle. “Where has he gone?”
“Home. To Pelinom.”
The realization hit Lista and she looked at Addington with shock. After a moment, she lowered herself back onto the chair.
“God’s bones,” she muttered, bewildered. “He simply left? He did not even ask me what he had seen?”
Addington was feeling a great deal of sorrow at the expression on Lista’s face. “As I said, he’s been hurt before,” she said. “I know it is a weak excuse, but he told me he was not going to let you make a fool out of him. He already had words with Louis, which is why…”
Lista looked at her when she trailed off. “Whywhat?”
Addington took a deep breath, clearly reluctant to continue. “That is why I came up here,” she said. “Louis was quite offended by it. From what I could gather, Louis must have asked if you and Julian were betrothed. He told Julian he would not pursue you, but when he saw how Julian would not believe the truth of what he saw, he said that Julian did not deserve you.”
Lista stared at her a moment before averting her gaze. Addington couldn’t help but see the tears forming as the reality of the situation began to settle.
“He did not ask me to explain, either,” she said tightly. “He assumed the worst and fled.”
“I know.”
“That’snotfair.”
“I know, Lista,” Addington said, trying to be of some comfort. “I am going to speak to Ashton and we will return to Pelinom and tell Julian that…”
Lista cut her off. “Nay,” she said sharply. “You’ll not tell him anything. He did not have the decency or courage to ask me to explain what he saw, and worse still, he simply assumed I was doing something deceptive and dishonorable. That is not something I would have ever assumed of him, in any situation, so I cannot understand why he did not give me the same courtesy. It was cowardly, Addie. Your brother is a coward.”
Addington didn’t like hearing that come from Lista, true though it might be. “Do not speak so unkindly of him,” she said quietly. “He has been hurt many times before. He was trying to protect himself.”
“I understand that, but it does not excuse his behavior,” Lista snapped, more forcefully now. “Since the moment I met him, he has refused to look me in the eyes and I believed it was because he was self-conscious about his eye color. But now I think it is something more than that. Mayhap it is because he is shallow and weak. Mayhap it is better that I find out now rather than later. How dare he assume the worst of me?”
“He has never known anything else,” Addington said. “His reaction was natural, at least for him.”
That didn’t soothe Lista. The more she thought on it, the angrier she became. “I do not need a man who runs whenever he is faced with a challenge,” she said. “I do not want a man who runs whenever he is confronted with something he does not understand, afraid he’ll be hurt. Nay, that is not the kind of man I want. Julian can keep running for all I care.”
The tears were starting to trickle but she flicked them away angrily as Addington struggled not to snap back at her.
“Lista, I know you are hurt,” she said patiently. “I cannot explain Julian’s reaction more than I have. What more do you want me to do?”
Lista stood up from the chair and hobbled over to her bed, climbing onto it. “I want you to stop defending him,” she said, trying not to openly weep. “I thought Julian was different. I thought he was sweet and shy. He did not care about my mother and aunt and their escapades. He seemed to care for me, as a woman. He gave me hope. He took my heart and gave me hope in return and now I see that the hope he gave me wasn’t strong enough to stand up to his foolish doubts.”
Addington watched Lista have a breakdown, covering her face and sniffling softly. She felt as bad as she possibly could because nothing Lista said was untrue. None of it except for the fact that she believed Julian to be a coward, although perhaps he was when it came to his heart.
That was something he protected fiercely.
But she didn’t like hearing Lista speak so poorly of him.
