one
Arielle Hanson
Yanking on the wrought iron door handle of the Long Island Coffee Loft, I storm through the entry with so much anger bubbling in my gut, my gaze has morphed into tunnel vision. I barely pause to scan the lobby, making sure it’s clear of customers before I zero my gaze on my brother, Christian, and shriek, “Tomislying. He has another girlfriend!”
Portia, Christian’s fiancée, pops up from where she was restocking supplies behind the counter. Her snow-blond hair is pinned in a messy bun, making her look like she hasn't combed it for the day, but that doesn’t slow her down. She immediately paces toward me, hands outstretched. “That dirty scumbag.”
I stand with my feet shoulder width apart, but still feel increasing weakness in my knees. Portia wraps her arms around me, and I drop my head on her shoulder and sob, unleashing a flood of tears.
Christian strides forward, determination in his straight path to us. “Are yousurethis time?”
I raise my head enough to catch his gaze. He’s the one person I’m totally honest with, and I desperately need consoling on this. “Yeah. You know how I had suspected it, but he assured me so many times that was not the case? He always had perfectly reasonable excuses why we had to sneak around. Remember when he said he was a lawyer, who worked at the same law firm handling Grandma’s estate, and he was worried about the conflict of interest?”
Christian’s eyes narrow, red hues flaming on his cheeks. “Tell me he’s at least a lawyer.”
“He’s a lawyer.” I nod, sniffing back tears. “Yet, still a liar.”
Christian’s hands roll into fists and his lips snarl and twist to the side. “I'll show him what a loser he really is.”
“No, I don’t want him to know how much this bothers me.” I place my hand on his shoulder, attempting to take his fury down a notch. “I’m ready to never hear his voice or see his face again.”
“How did you get him to confess?” Portia stares at me, her eyes wide with piqued interest.
“He never confessed but nothing ever added up. Today is his birthday, and he said he didn’t have time to get together. I offered to meet him for lunch at his work, but he didn’t want me to come to the office. I thought that was weird, but he assured me he was concerned over the conflict of interest. I showed up anyway—”
“You did not!” Portia’s jaw practically drops to the floor.
“I did.” I swipe my eyes with the back of my hands, doing everything I can to restore my vision as Portia’s sweet face blurs in front of me. “That’s what you do when you love someone and it’s their birthday. I understood he was busy, but I thought I could still drop off a birthday lunch and give him a hug and kiss.But when I got there, he was having lunch in his officewith his other girlfriend!”
Portia gasps, covering her mouth with her palm. “She was there?”
“It was a good thing too.” I don’t conceal the exasperation layering in my tone. I’ve been holding it in the entire drive here. If I don’t let it out, my emotional tank is going to explode. “Tom would have never fessed up. At least since his other girlfriend was literally right there in front of my face, there was no way to lie his way out of it.”
“I’m so sorry.” Portia squeezes me tighter and pats my back in a motherly way. “He really doesn’t deserve you. I know this hurts, but it’s better you find out now. You should be with someone who treats you the way you deserve.”
My bottom lip rolls under until I trap it between my teeth. I want to believe she’s right, and there is someone better out there for me, but I’m honestly so tired of dating. I stopped looking for the perfect guy years ago. He just doesn’t exist, and if I had to be honest with myself, I know I was settling with Tom. It’s part of my personality though, which I have an impossible time giving up. I don’t like to admit defeat at anything, including relationships. I had desperately wanted to make this relationship work, because I’m ready to move on to the next stage of my life—to get married and have a family.
Growing up without a mom taught me a lot, but the loudest lesson it imparted to me is there are no guarantees. Life is short. My heart hollows fractionally more with each depressing thought until it lands on this last one.I don’t want to start all over again.I’m gutted. I gave everything I had to Tom.
I can’t do this again.
“I’ll tell you what he deserves,” Christian cuts in, wringing his fists together. The sight of him puffing up his chest, acting so tough should make me giggle, because Christian is the last guyto ever be physically aggressive, but I don’t have even a snicker inside me.
“Violence is not the answer.” Portia raises her gaze to lock with Christian’s, but it’s not scolding. She has a way of making himeven. He immediately comes down another notch, unrolling his clenched fists.
“I agree.” I sniff, finally straightening up with the bitter aftertaste of my dream of getting that Instagram-perfect wedding to disintegrate right before me. I take an urgent step back from Portia to look at Christian. “Violence will not help anything, but I can’t go back there anytime soon. I was hoping I could stay with you for a little while.”
“Stay here. Isn’t that what you did the last time Tom hurt you?” Christian rubs his clean-shaven chin; a challenging gleam sparks in his eye. “I’m detecting a pattern where you always run away from your problems.”
“It will not be a pattern once I get Tom out of my life for good. I’m humiliated. I can’t imagine running into anyone I know right now, while I’m still so emotional.” I sniff, and my shoulders shake from the internal pressure of holding back more tears. This isn’t one of those problems I can solve by eating too many pints of ice cream and blaring Taylor Swift while I drive aimlessly around town.
This is my heart squeezed so tightly, it’s impossible to breathe.
I’ve never been betrayed this badly before. I close my eyes, wishing the pain to go away, but Tom’s face floods my mind, making my stomach lurch. I can’t fathom ever feeling normal again.
I know one thing. If I do ever heal this pain, I’m not ever dating again.
This will not be my pattern.
