I bit back words that I would regret, and clambered to my feet. I didn’t want him to suspect anything, but in my silence, I vowed to be done with this dynasty. I wouldnotbe loyal to Father. I scampered down the hall, tripping over my own feet. My world blurred, as the tears slid down my face, and though tears can sometimes trickle, these tears were heavy and hot. The burn fueling my legs to run faster.
I didn’t have any possessions I cared to pack as I ran down the servants’ quarters and out the back. The absence of Weston following me, scolding me to wait up, ripped my heart open.Will I ever see him again?Outside, the first snowflakes of an early storm had started to flutter, landing on my already soaked lashes, but I blinked them away. It was a freak snowstorm, a warning that nature was trying to fight back, too. The world could crumble around me at this point and swallow me up, and I wouldn’t care.
I paced forward to the men standing on guard.
I already knew the outcome, but found myself frantically searching for Weston.
He wasn’t at his post.
He wasn’t coming up the driveway.
A giant gap remained between the two guards where he usually stood. It was an odd display of reverence by his fellow soldiers that split the flood gates wide open. How long would there be a gap? Would it always be there?
What if he dies . . .
I balled my hand into a fist and pounded it on my heart. This pain . . . I’d rather die. Father’s betrayal. Weston’s absence. It all circled my head, and I was so sick of it all. I did my part! It didn’t work because they lied!
A rustle of leaves from behind stole my attention.
I held my breath and turned, praying by some miracle it was Weston coming from the shadows and this was some sick joke.Please be a joke . . .
No Weston.
It was Ruenella, my beautiful sister. Not a hair out of place, and her makeup was flawless. Her perfectly lipstick- stained lips were pinched as she appeared to be holding her breath, too.
“You knew?” I accused my sister. Not because I didn’t love her but because of our loving sisterly bond. My heart rattled in my chest. I felt so betrayed.
Ruenella blew out her breath. “You’re in shock.” She paused, taking a deep swallow. “Take some time to think about it before you do something irrational. If you leave, Father will disown you, and you’ll have nothing.”
“I understand that.” I held her gaze without flinching. “I understand exactly what I’m losing.” I had made up my mind. Father was using everyone as pawns. I barely saw this before it was too late. I wouldn’t be one of his pawns.
It’d be easier if I tore off in a fit and didn’t think about it until years had passed. Being the younger, more daring sister, I often did things without thinking. And like perfect birth-order rites of passage, Ruenella was always there, forewarning my regrets. “If you leave,” Ruenella’s jaw quivered as she pressed the issue, “Father will banish you, and anyone who remains in contact with you.”
I grabbed her hand and squeezed my fingers between her thin fingers that always felt so much frailer than mine. “Nobody, not even Father, can banish me from you. I’ll find a way.”
The quiet that comes with heartbreak seeped into our hearts, punctuated by tears in the corner of each of our eyes, as we stood feet cemented to the stone driveway, doing nothing more than staring at each other. Our eyes understood to take in every detail, so our brains would memorize and know what to do withthe passage of time. Our hearts understood even the best-case scenario meant it could beyearsbefore we’d see each other again. Definitely not before the war was over, if there was even a country left by then.
Maybe not even in this lifetime.
“Do you know where you’ll go?” Ruenella whispered, also failing to stifle her sobs.
“I don’t, but I’ll figure it out.” I took a few steps away from my dear sister. I couldn’t risk getting caught. I needed to move. I also couldn’t bear the thought of seeing Mother disappointed.Please don’t see me run, Mother,I prayed.She wouldn’t understand, and I wouldn’t be able to hold my tongue. I’d say so many things I would regret.
“I love you,” I called over my shoulder as I powered my legs straight into the forest.
I had no idea where I was going, but it would be far away, because I couldn’t risk getting caught betraying Father.When I neared the edge of the forest, I glanced back, ready to take in my home for the last time. I loved my home. An enormous and majestic palace, it towered over the horizon, with lush spires that nearly reached the clouds. In the light of day, it drank in the sun’s rays, making all the gardens flourish. It had been a glorious place to grow up, and a light to the entire kingdom.
My mind turned intrinsically, as I always assumed I was also a light to the kingdom.Even as a small child, my presence inspired a reverent silence from any size crowd. A hush would wash over my entourage, and even the birds would stop to watch my lilting steps. It was as if I had been the last crown for a kingdom in ruin, and now I’m getting banished.
I understood the betrayal I chose far too deeply.
I pumped my legs harder, knowing Ruenella would cover for me, even if it meant her own punishment. Snow was organicallyswirling around me now, and I opened my mouth wide, sucking in all the crisp oxygen to power me onward.
A part of my heart constricted out an echo, saying, return home before you have regrets.
The other part turned to stone, declaring it wasn’t home anymore.
Regrets are a weakness.
