“That one we just made before you came over. That's why it's not dried up yet, but we make them all the time. Over the summer, whenever we’d go to the park, I’d usually bring my book to read. She’d sit next to me and have something to say. I never got much reading done—and it always reminded me of another time I tried to read at the park. I’d give up. Since I had no idea what to do with a little girl, we made dandelion chains together.” His voice trailed off at the end, but his lips curled brilliantly. “There’s been a lot of moments that reminded me of you over the years,” he stated firmly, making me believe he was sincere.
My breath hitched in my chest, but I wasn't ready to be that honest with him about how much I had thought about him. Instead, I turned toward the sink. “Can I help with the dishes?” I opened the cupboard in front of me, and I started moving dried plates to it. We fell into a synchronized pattern of washing and drying, and the conversation finally seemed to get easier. “It’s amazing to see you with Hadley. You make it look easy.”
“It’s not easy.” He shot me a telling look. “But somehow, we keep plowing forward. At this point, I don’t know what I’d do without her.” He handed me the last plate, but it was a trap. As soon as I placed it in the cupboard, and turned back to him, he pivoted on his foot toward me and dropped his chin. His lips were only a mere inch from mine, and his eyes hung on me, and I was afraid to breathe. After several moments of me holding my breath, he whispered, “Is it weird that having you here tonight feels normal to me?”
Shivers rained down my arms, raising gooseflesh. “I don’t think so.”
His eyes locked on my lips, and he whispered, “What do you think?”
“I think…I think I’m crazy.” My voice trembled in fear of the honesty I was expressing. “It’s been years since we knew each other, but my heart stumbles when you look at me like that.” I held my chest because it was like my heart was proving a point with this imploding thing. “It makes me want to believe in fate. That’s silly, but then I feel like I’m going to go insane—”
“You have every right to go insane. I’m already there. Everything makes sense to me until I think about you leaving. Again, we’re being separated by a thousand miles before we even have a chance. This feels like a joke.”
“This was all so random, yet it feels right.”
“First you said you were confused.” He cocked his head to the side, arching one eyebrow above the other. “Now it sounds like you aren’t really confused as much as you were just holding back.”
“Honestly,” I looked up, taking in the deep hue of his eyes. It sent a whoosh of a spark, demanding my heart to pound, screaming in all caps. “I always had a crush on you, and I was mostly holding it together until I saw your dandelion strings.”
“The thing is that we’re not in high school anymore.” He placed a hand on my waist, pulling me to him. The mere friction of his skin put my gut in a twist. “We’re in charge of our own lives.”
After all the awkwardness, we were finally connecting. I loved this moment with everything in my soul. He took a step closer to me, and now the gap between us was only as thick as a whisper. “I want to be with you, Elinora. I know it’s not perfect timing, but is this real for you?”
Memories wafted in front of me, back to the days at the park, the smell of yellow dandelions blooming. It wasn’t hard for me. I’d literally had a thing for Graham for years. “It’s a thing.” Icurled my lips into a flirty smile, and I raised my chin up so I could meet his lips with mine. This time I hit my target perfectly. His lips were soft but managed to steal all the breath from my chest. It was the kiss I’d always known we were capable of.
He pulled away first. “You can’t imagine how many times I’ve thought about kissing you like that.”
“I might have played a redo of our kiss in my mind, too.” My lips still tingled, and I resisted the urge to run my fingers along them.
“I don’t want this to change.”
“What do you mean?” Ice filled my veins, as I’d thought we were making progress. I wanted us to change. I didn’t want to be friends. I wanted more than that. “I thought we were on the same page.”
“No.” His arms wrapped around me, and he pulled me in closer, dropping a kiss on the top of my forehead. “I wantthatpart to change. I don’t know what to think about tomorrow. I’d love to say I can visit every weekend, but realistically with Hadley—”
“Right.” I gave him a curt nod, my heart plummeting. I hadn’t forgotten about the distance between us, but being in Graham’s arms was all I’d been dreaming about for years. I wasn’t going to force an obstacle when something had clearly brought us back together.
Truthfully, if he’d told me to quit my job and move here so we could be together, I would’ve called my boss right this second. I’d get a job slinging boxes at a grocery store if that’s what it took to bring us together. I bit my lip, knowing it was way too soon to have those conversations, but I also didn’t want him to think this was a casual thing for me, a mere convenience while I was here. “Well, I travel a lot for my job, and I’ll be back up here in three weeks when I visit New Hampshire. Maybe you and Hadleycould come visit?” Dropping my gaze, I slowed my words. “If you want.”
“Yeah, that sounds great.” His tone was optimistic now, but the fact that he was already pointing out the flaws in our potential relationship left a niggling worry in the back of my head. “Do you have to leave now? Or can you stay to watch a movie?”
“Um.” Inside I was doing cartwheels, all my dreams were coming true, but I was also dying a little, knowing this could also kill by degrees.I was willing to risk it.“I’ll stay.”
twelve
Graham
Three weeks later, Hadley and I packed our suitcases, plus a bag of all her favorite candy she was only allowed to have on special occasions. My gut twisted as I left her with Lacy. Hadley was excited for a sleepover, but I worked all the time, and weekends were our time to hang out. I promised hernext timeshe could come with me. If I was going to give this relationship a shot with Elinora, we’d need some time just the two of us. Plus, it was only one night. Elinora would finish work at five, and we would have just a few short hours together. We needed this time. I wished I could stay the whole week, but with the store and Hadley, one night was all I could swing for now.
Juiced on energy drinks, I made the trip alone. I didn’t want to risk making her uncomfortable since we hadn’t had a real first date. So, I checked into a single room in the same hotel where she was staying. I hoped she didn’t have doubts about seeing me again. We had been talking every day, and it was the weirdest sensation to try to describe, but she was the only person I’dever felt a balance with. I was more myself with her than when I wasn’t talking to her. Even though she didn’t do anything to push me, just hearing her voice made me want to be more for her with an ease that wasn’t present anywhere else in my life. It was the part of my life that didn’t make me feel like I had to try hard—loving her was easy. I sat on the edge of my bed, waiting for the time to pass. Finally, my phone lit up.
Elinora: Just getting off work. I can’t wait to see you!
Me: I’ll be waiting in the lobby.
Jumping to my feet, I did a hair check in the bathroom mirror. I had this bad habit of always running my hand through the front of my hair when I was stressed. It made me look like I had serious bed head that could not be tamed. To combat it, I had come prepared with a $6 bottle of drugstore hair gel. I slathered on another layer, vowing to not touch it again all night. Next was the breath check. Even though I’d been pounding Mint Mentos since I got into town, I couldn’t risk offensive odors and brushed again.
There. Straightening the bottom of my shirt, I checked for any last-minute malfunctions, and grabbed the bouquet of pink roses I had picked from the grocery store. Once downstairs, I sat on the lobby couch by the window, nervously tapping my foot. If anything, the part that would kill me would be this. I was excited, but until I saw her face, I wouldn’t know how she really felt about this. About me.
