Silence.
After a beat, he said, “Nobody ever cares what I want.”
“I care.”
I found myself scooting closer so I could see his expression. Now an arm’s length away from him, I studied his face. He held his somber expression, but something was off. Like the I-don’t-give-a-crud-about-anything shield he always wore wasdown. “What do you care about?” He snipped back at me, but I didn’t take offense.
Time wasn’t on my side, and I pressed on. “I want to hear the rest of your story.”
“Nah.” He looked away in a dismissing manner. “It’s a good thing I never got to finish it, because you wouldn’t want to know.”
I reached forward, lightly touching his forearm. “I promise I won’t judge you.”
“Whatever. If you insist.” His words blew out in the mutter. A seed of anxiety sparked in his eyes as he leaned forward. “So, I told you about how the football team I played on had won three championships but got their funding canceled.”
I nodded, keeping my eyes glued to his faintly lit face.
“And that the rich team across town got a new stadium, but they wouldn’t let me play.”
I nodded again.
He planted his dissociated stare on his face and peered out the window. “I couldn’t fathom how my address was making—breaking—my future. And nobody cared. I would have been an asset to the other team. Nobody even wanted to see me try out. A week earlier, I had been a town hero. Then I was nobody, but—”
“But what?” I couldn’t wait for him to finish. My heart was beating in random parts all over my chest.
“But I got a lesson the hard way in learning that life isn’t fair. Even if you think you can change it, don’t try, because people want to keep it unfair. They like being comfortable. As long as the uncomfortable things stay out of their sight.”
I swallowed, but it was more like a gulp. I think Graham heard it, because his eyes deflected from his stare out the window, and he turned toward me. “I don’t regret it. I’d say I regret the consequences that it had on my life, but people must start standing up to the system. There is no reason I shouldn’t have been able to try out for that other team. It should have been based on merit. I’m not bragging, but I was better than every single one of those guys. They said it was something about conference rules, because I didn’t go to school there, but they wouldn’t let me. Who even makes these rules?”
If he didn’t tell me what he did soon, I’d pass out from holding my breath. “Just tell me.”
“After doing things their way—appealing to the zoning committee, writing letters, getting signatures on a stupid petition—I did everything I could think of, and they kept coming back to my stupid address. It had nothing to do with how I played football. It was a dumb idea, but I wasn’t planning to hurt anyone. I wanted to make a statement, so I grabbed a baseball bat and jumped the fence of the new arena and smashed up as much as I could.”
Gasping, I held my chest.
“The town actually rose up, defending me, and I would have gotten away with it.” I was so dumbfounded that I couldn’t emit a sound. He went on, “The social workers came snooping and saw my house, and how my mom was never home. They called it abandonment. I got pulled into foster care while I had to wait on the court stuff to settle. The judge saw my straight A’s and football record and had mercy on me. He said I didn’t have to goto juvie, but I needed a safe place to live. That’s why I got sent here.” He tossed up a shoulder.
My mouth hung open, but nothing came out. I closed it and tried again. Still nothing. He dropped his gaze, now picking his thumbnail. “Everyone said I got lucky getting off, but there’s nothing lucky about my life.”
I understood.
I understood what my parents were arguing about. My mom was torn, knowing none of this stuff—at least his home life—was his fault. Did he break the law? Yes. Did I judge him?No.People failed him. I reached my hand, touching his arm again. “I’m sorry, that—”
The hall light turned on, and I tucked down on the floor, flattening to the ground military style. Graham threw a blanket over himself as he rolled over, pretending to be sacked out. I speedily crawled around the corner, desperate to get out of view, only stopping when I was behind the corner chair. The only way I’d be busted now was if my dad pulled the chair out—which I wouldn’t doubt he’d do.
We waited, listening to the steps in the hall pace up and down forever.
I don’t know how many trips the footsteps took up and down the hall, but it was clear it was my dad, because they were stomping. Mom was light-footed and wouldn’t sound like that even if she were dragging a dead body behind her. Then the front door opened, the lights switched off, and the door shut. He was gone. It had to be hours past midnight. I assumed the place he was going had to do with getting Graham gone.
“You’d better get back upstairs,” Graham said sternly.
“I don’t want to.” My words were soft yet brave in conviction. In a weird way, I hoped to plant a seed of trust, showing him I was on his side. I crawled out from my spot, returning tothe floor next to Graham. Although I was cautious, I also felt comfortable. “I want to talk some more about you.”
“I’m not that interesting,” he grumbled. “I did one stupid thing that will define the rest of my life.”
“What happens after you leave here?” I had always known he was only here to visit for the summer, but I had never entertained the idea that the life he had to go back to… wasn’t worth returning to. My heart slammed against my rib cage. Everything felt wrong.
He shrugged, his face blank as if he was completely stumped. “The state will find a ‘suitable’ place for me. Foster care at best. Juvie at worst. Judging from the amount of time it’s taking them, my guess is juvie. Nobody wants a poor kid from the wrong side of the tracks with a criminal record.”
