I carefully hung up the dress, making sure it didn’t snag and changed into casual clothes. As I returned from the bathroom, the dog rushed in front of me. Now he guarded the door, but wasn’t unfriendly. His tail wagged and he bounced around, inviting himself to come with. “You can come.” I smiled at him, and reached back, grabbing the bag of treats. “You might be ready for some real food anyway.” I peered over at Nick. “Maybe we can grab some food on the way.”
Nick slid his arms into his coat and took a moment to adjust the bottom, so it was straight. “Yeah, we can take my car, and stop at the general store.” He motioned to the cardboard reindeer leaning against the closet door. “I remember seeing that in the general store display window, and it might not be a bad idea to see if anyone remembers us being there.” Removing his keys from his pocket, he opened the door, waiting for me and the dog to walk through, and then tacked on, “Maybe we can grab a leash for him too. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to just have him follow us?”
Never having owned a pet of any kind before, I raised my shoulder. “He made it here with us somehow?
“I know.” Nick fell into stride with us down the hall, carrying the life-sized cardboard Rudolph in front of him. “We should ask around to see whose dog he is. Someone is probably missing him, and I don’t want to be accused of dog napping.”
I checked behind me, the dog trotted right in tow, with a happy face and dangling tongue. He didn’t appear to be missing anyone. In fact, he didn’t seem sad at all. The elevator door opened right as we made it to the end of the hall, and we entered, lining up with Rudolph between us. Once the door was closed, we stood so stiffly that you’d think we were strangers riding this thing together, and not best friends who might possibly be married. The elevator was slow as it ticked off floors on its descent. My eyes sprang wide when I absorbed Blue Christmas piping through the speakers. I didn’t want to believe it might be an omen, but Nick blurted out the most random thing, “Do you believe in soulmates?”
Triple blinking, my face took a mild scowl. How dare he ask me that duringmysong! “Why would you ask that?” I choked out, feeling my throat instantly dry.
“It was a word fart,” his voice was rushed, his body visually stiffened even more. “I didn’t mean to.”
I stared forward as the elevator ticked off another floor, and I surprised myself by replying, “I don’t think so. I think the point of life is to find someone who can tolerate you, and then you drag each other to the finish line.”
Even though I was dead serious, he let out a chuckle, “You don’t really believe that, do you?”
“Yeah, I do.” The elevator doors opened, and we stepped through them together, heading toward the parking lot. “I used to believe in soul mates when I was like nine years old, but now after having gone through my entire adult life being mostly single, while watching all of my friends get married, I have to think the concept is flawed. It doesn’t make sense why some people find theirs so easily, while others must suffer through the dating pool for years.” Tilting my head towards his thoughtfully, I added, “And not to mention those poor souls who never find their person. The whole idea is dependent on luck. Like what happens if you run to the bathroom at the exact moment you were supposed to spill hot coffee on your soulmate?” I shook my head like I was feeling shame. “So, yeah, I don’t believe there is only one person for you. However, I do think it’s possible to find someone you’d chase the stars for. But it’s not luck. It’s a choice.”
Before, we were walking almost shoulder to shoulder, but it seemed as if he lengthened his stride, like he was trying to keep far away from me.Maybe I hurt his feelings?I didn’t mean to, but I was massively overwhelmed about everything going on.
We were in the parking lot now, and Nick walked over to a late nineties style two-door lowrider Honda and waited for me, obviously avoiding my gaze. “This is your car?” I asked, feeling a little confused. For a man who was always impeccably dressed in office wear, I was expecting something not so . . . punk high school. “I thought you were rich,” I teased.
His lips pinned an even smile on his face, revealing his perfect teeth. I could tell it was fake because when he genuinely smiled his teeth parted and now, they were clenched. Now I was mostly sure I had hurt his feelings, but I couldn’t deal with anything more than what was at hand. I didn’t want to be insensitive, but I also couldn’t risk any more emotions as I could feel tears still weighing on the back of my eyes. “You are the one who always said I was rich,” Nick replied. “This was my high school car. My parents saved it because my dad drives it to work to save on gas, but yeah, since I flew here, I just drive this around.”
I stared at the rusted-out wheel wells, and my gaze traced the bubbled paint. “How come I never noticed it before?” It was a simple question, that barely touched on what I wanted to ask. I was actually massively curious now about what else I’d missed. And how?
“We usually just walk around downtown.” He tossed a shoulder up, and climbed inside his door, calling back, “Hold up a second before you try to open your door, I have to unbuckle it.”
“Don’t you mean unlock it?” I wasn’t sure why I corrected him; I knew what he meant, but then I didn’t . . . He moved his seat forward, letting the dog jump in the back seat, taking a moment to secure Rudolph in the backseat as well. Then he leaned over the middle console, unlatched the seat belt wrapped around the door handle and gave a nice hard shove. “Hop in,” he called.
Everything about this car felt illegal, and like I should be strapping on a helmet, and combat boots. I found myself glancing over my shoulder before I slid in and slammed the door, but I wasn’t surprised when it didn’t latch. A smirk brewed on my lips, and I tried hard to bite it back. Even though I teased Nick about being rich because he lived in New York, I knew Nick’s family was working class—and this car or any car they had—was something they worked hard for. I looked at Nick, a sarcastic grin laced his lips as he held up the seat belt for me in the most telling way. I couldn’t help it, and I burst out laughing. “You are telling me I have to latch the door closed with my seat belt?”
Scowling, he wasn’t even trying to fake a smile. “The door stopped sticking years ago,” his voice was apologetic. “Dad never thought it was worth it to spend the money to fix it when he had this trick. I can latch it for you, if you want, but yeah, I don’t want you to fall out of the car.”
“Such a gentleman,” I joked, but his lips never quivered into a smile. We’d always joke about everything, and the fact that he didn’t at least smile, made me think I’d upset him. He had a good sense of humor though, so maybe it was something else? Maybe he was upset we got married?
I sandwiched my back against the seat, motioning for him to lean over me. And he was a gentleman when he threaded the belt through the door handle, and snapped it into place. When he reached over to give it a test yank, I couldn’t help but let another rush of laughter fall out of my mouth. “No wonder you get all the ladies. I can’t believe I’ve been missing out.”
“Right?” he easily made fun of himself, but didn’t stop testing the belt as he pushed on the door, testing it. “You’ll be okay.” He didn’t even try to pass a tiny glance in my direction, and at this point, I knew he was sad.
He cranked the engine, backing up swiftly while a weird ticking noise came from the floorboards. I pretended to ignore it. He shifted the car into drive and then out of what seemed like nowhere, he said, “I don’t think you choose.”
“Huh?” My eyes slid over, meeting his briefly before he turned his attention back on the road. “What are you talking about?”
“Soulmates,” he stated firmly. “I don’t think it’s as easy as picking someone, or them picking you.” He rested one hand on top of the wheel and leaned back, relaxing in the seat.
Or maybe the seat is just broken and he had to lean like that?
“I think,” Nick continued, “sometimes you meet someone—that person who just fits perfectly and you can’t imagine your life without them.” His words came out laced with spite, as if he was furious about someone who had jilted him. I have no idea what woman he’d be upset about, because he hadn’t mentioned anyone he was dating, or getting deeply hurt.
“Wow.” I mulled over his very thoughtful response. “That’s deep thinking.” I stole a look at him, noting although he always had a great head of hair, he looked extremely handsome with a shaved head. It gave him an edge. I didn’t hate his new haircut.
His comment about soulmates made me think about my parents, and I felt like I needed to explain the random wedding attire from this morning, “You know,” I started, still holding my gaze on him. “My mom had bought that wedding dress, and never wore it because she was waiting until the perfect ‘big’ wedding, but she never had a chance before she died.” I paused, running my tongue along my lower lip, not really sad, but mostly wanting to take a moment to give Nick a chance to digest what I was saying. Although my life was an open book to him, my mom wasn’t someone I had talked about much. “My dad had made me promise to stop waiting for the perfect moments in life. His exact words were that the things that hurt the most are the memories my parents never made.” I waved a flippant hand, adding in an equally dismissive tone, “That’s why I had the dress. He made me promise to wear it.”
Nick raised his chin slowly, nodding until his words floated out softly. “Carpe diem.”
“Huh?” I had barely heard his whisper and leaned toward him, hoping to hear better.
