“Why are we stopping here?”
A smile forms on his handsome face. “This is our date.”
I wrinkle my brows, questioning him with my eyes. But he doesn’t answer. Instead, he hops out of the truck and rushes around to my side to get my door. He offers me his hand to help me down, and then we walk with our fingers intertwined into the dark bookstore.
A bell above the door rings, and past the stacks and stacks of books, into the back room I’ve never entered, are dimmed lights and candles. My breath hitches as we near the faint glow and I see a table set for two with a rose in a thin, glass vase and two candles on either side as a centerpiece. Twinkle lights hang from the tall ceiling, giving a warm, romantic hue to the space.
“Noah,” I gasp his name as we enter the small room that is most definitely the back office of this place. But you can’t readily see the desks, papers, and boxes pushed up against the walls. Instead, I’m drawn to the steaks, potatoes, broccoli, and basket of bread rolls on the table. And don’t get me started on the massive slice of chocolate cake begging me to eat it first. Tall glasses of what looks to be sweet tea sit on the table, condensation rolling down the sides of the glass. Noah lets go of my hand only to move his to my lower back. I turn to look up at him. “You did all of this? For me?”
His thumb rubs up and down my spine, sending a shiver to meet the movement. “For us, sweetheart. I remember you didn’t quite like my adventurous dates like hiking back on the island. I thought I’d try something quiet, romantic, and soft. A date fit for my introverted and a little anxious woman. My friend Kade owns this place, and he helped me set it all up earlier.”
“Well tell him thank you for me.”
My knees are noodles as I fight to not swoon. His steadying hand on my back as Noah guides me to my seat is the only thing keeping me from tumbling to the ground.
Because truth is, I don’t just love this man.
Ilikehim.
There’s a huge difference.
And the liking him just might scare me more than the loving him.
I fell out oflikewith Lane within a few months, but I stuck around because he’d made me believe he was the best I’d get. I believed the transposed idea of what I desired over what I was actually getting.
But this?
No man has done this for me. I don’t remember Bryan, but I’d venture to say he didn’t measure up tothis.
“Meme? Are you going to take your seat?”
I jolt from my head and quickly land in the chair as Noah scoots me into the table. He takes one step and sits down across from me, a hesitant smile on his face contradicting his earlier smirk.
“Are you okay?” I ask, lifting a brow.
Noah nods, though I don’t think I buy it. He clears his throat. “Let me pray for us.”
Heaven, take me now…
“Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for Your consistent grace, Your unwarranted mercy, and Your everlasting, eternal salvation through Your son, Jesus. Father, I can’t thank you enough for bringing Esme back to me. All those nights I screamed, cried, and begged. All those nights I thought You’d given up on me.” Noah’s voice breaks, and I open my eyes to find his hand taking mine as my tears drip onto my steak. “Well, God. You heard me and saw me. And in Your timing, though I’ll never understand on this side of eternity why we had to take this journey, You brought the woman I want, the one I need, back to me. So, thank You, God. And please bless this meal to our bodies and our bodies to Your service. In Jesus’s name, amen.”
I squeeze his hand before letting go, and his teary eyes meet mine. We smile with broken sadness at one another. “Noah,” I manage to say as I wipe at my wet cheeks, hoping my mascara didn’t run. “What really happened during those months?”
He releases a breath, leaning back in his seat. “I felt like what I imagine it would feel like if I lost Ashton. Like half of me was missing. You bolted into my life like lightning, Esme, and I knew I’d never be the same again. And then just as quickly as you struck, you were gone. Worse, you weren’t dead. You were alive, but you didn’t remember me. Us. And I couldn’t for the life of me reconcile that twist of fate.” He laughs mirthlessly before continuing. “I was so mad at God, Esme. But through it all, He was still good to me.”
My steak is probably too salty to eat with the amount of tears puddling on it, but I don’t care. Noah laid himself open and showed me a non-perfect side to him. A side that questions and gets mad at God. And well, it makes him even more perfect in my eyes. “I’ve been there,” I finally respond, drying my eyes with the back of my hand. “When I woke from the coma, I was so mad at God for causing it to happen. Heck, I think I’ve been mad at God for a lot of things that I’ve done and placed the blame onto Him.”
“What did you get mad at Him for outside of the coma?” Noah sniffles and blots at his cheeks. My heart breaks at the sight of his vulnerability.
Now it’s time for me to be honest.
With him, with God, and with myself.
“I was with a man for a while—Lane.”
Noah tenses. “Yeah, you told me about him back in Bora Bora.”
I laugh lightly. “Well, I know you told me that I said similar words to what I’m about to tell you now, but I don’t remember that moment. I had to learn the lesson twice, I guess. But I blamed God for Lane when in reality, I chose to stay in asituation I knew wasn’t right for me. He made me believe I wasn’t deserving of romance and passion. In fact, he led me to believe no real human man would measure up to the fictional ones. I still don’t know the full picture of Bryan, my ex-fiancé, but I think it was a similar story.”Maybe darker than I want to know,I think to myself, remembering the weird memory that surfaced when I was last with him.I shove it aside and focus on Noah.
