Defeated.
Bruised.
A shell of the woman who entered this house with determination and gumption a couple of weeks ago.
How did he do this to me?
How did I let this happen?
How is it ending?
As I close the door behind me, on the concrete porch, I collapse to my knees, feeling my skin split apart.
“Oh, God,” I cry out in the smallest, fragmented voice I no longer recognize as my own. Tears finally break through. “Make it go away!”
Chapter 19
Stone
Aknock at my door catches my attention, and I tell Stanton over my headset that I need to step away from our typical early Saturday morning round ofCall of Duty.
“Hello,” I say as I swing the door open to find… “Brother Johnny? What are you doing here? Is Mom here, too?”
He chuckles, wrinkles forming at the edges of his honeyed eyes. “No, no. She’s home. Stella and Lucas are with her. I, however, would like to visit with you alone today. Sorry it’s unannounced. Forgive my intrusion.”
I motion for him to come inside. “It’s no problem. You know you’re always welcome.”
“Do you have plans?”
“Not really. Going to a bonfire tonight with some friends, that’s all.”
He grins. “Wonderful. I’ll be out of your hair after lunch. Don’t want to get back home to my beloved too late.”
My chest warms, and for a brief moment, I’m extra thankful my mom decided to let go of the feeling like she’d be cheating on Dad if she remarried. She needed someone like Brother Johnny in her life.
“Would you like something to drink?”
He scratches his balding brown hair. “Do you have sweet tea?”
“Would I be a southern man if I didn’t?”
He laughs, and I point him to the couch while I make two glasses of tea.
“Call of Duty, huh? You like to game?” he asks as I hand him his drink.
“It’s something my buddy and I do pretty much every Saturday morning unless we have other things happening. Just casual. This is really the only game I play these days.”
Brother Johnny nods his head, and then suddenly, his happy-go-lucky pastor face disappears, in its place a stern—fatherly?—expression. “We need to talk about that girlfriend of yours. Now, don’t be mad, but Lucas and Jared told me what was going on a couple of weeks ago after you visited us randomly, and I’ve been meaning to get up here to talk with you.”
I clench my jaw but keep a smile pasted on my face. I haven’t told my family that Lucy and I are done. So done that she never reported back to work. Instead, she sent my secretary an email saying she was resigning effective immediately three days ago. The day after she walked out of my house and wailed on my doorstep. I sat on the other side of the door, silently leaking tears and begging the God who everyone says is good but apparently hates me to change the prophecy He had set forth for my life. I said I was goingto figure out this Christianity thing, but I’ve been too emotionally exhausted to even attempt to work through everything. “They did, did they?”
We both lean back against the couch as I fight to rid myself of the haunting memories of Lucy’s broken cries.
“They’re worried about you. And her. They like her a lot, you know?”
“Hm.”
He continues. “And I do, too. Most importantly, I love you, Stone. I know I’m not your father nor could I ever replace him in your life. Furthermore, I would never try to do that. But Idolove you as if you were my son.”
