“You frustrate me, Lucy. In the most delicious way. It’s been a living hell staying away from you.” He draws closer with each word that comes next. “You. Are. Irresistible.” Stone claims my lips again, and the thrill I was experiencing earlier is now ten-fold.
He thinks I’m irresistible. His eyes are saying everything I need to know. His touch is gentle yet strong. His lips are devouring yet intentional. We fit together like I’ve never fit against anyone in my existence. And I don’t want anyone else ever again. He is it for me. This is it for me. I have no reservations now. Forget rings and bargains with God.
My body is vibrating, and only one thing, oneperson,can satiate this hypnotic desire…
Stone Harper.
“Happy birthday,” I whisper into his ear after giving it a little bite, tearing and burning every red flag attempting to raise itself.
I’mtiredof holding back…
So. Freaking. Tired.
I love him.
“Best present ever,” he growls.
Chapter 16
Stone
“What in the—”curse“—did I do?”
I slam my palms against the bathroom sink as I stare at my reflection with insurmountable disgust. My hair is sticking up in every direction, long, red marks trailing down my chest, an outward expression of the guilt clawing my insides.
Images of Lucy running her hands through my hair, gripping my arms, among many,manyother things race through my head, acting as a driving force, demanding I return to my bedroom where she’s snuggled up in a plaid blanket cocoon, sleeping as if she’s in perfect harmony with the world.
Peace settled upon me, too, last night, when she said she loved me. Except that peace was a falsified monster and now I want to run out of my own house in a desperate escape to flee the conversation I’m going to have to have with her when she wakes up. Those three words bounce around my brain, tightening my chest and pressing a heavy weight upon my shoulders.
The least I can do is make her breakfast and coffee, right?
After smoothing my hair down and tiptoeing into the room (purposefully avoiding letting my eyes wander to the woman in my bed) to swipe a t-shirt and jogging pants, I make my way into the living room.
Popcorn litters the couch and floor, and I set to work cleaning it as best as I can without breaking out the vacuum. Once I’m finished, I get a pot of coffee brewing and begin to start on breakfast, opting to cook bacon, eggs, and toast. Simple but nutritious.
As I’m cooking, a mindless task for me, I try to come up with the right words to say to Lucy. I could immediately apologize for slipping up and tempting her and say it won’t happen again, but I’m not so sure that’s the truth. If she still wants to stick around after this…
I could tell her that it was the bourbon’s fault, but I think we both know I handle my liquor well by now. She’d see right through that.
I could be completely honest and tell her I enjoy her company more than I enjoy breathing, and I adore the way her real smiles tend to come out when we’re alone together. I could say that her kisses and touches bring me to my knees. I could say that she has me wrapped around her finger.
But none of that would matter because regardless of those things, I cannot fully give her my heart. This freak out I’m having this morning is proof of that. I’m not ready. I’ve given her my time, my money, my history, and my body… But my heart? The idea of loving her absolutely terrifies me. What if I was to propose to her and she walked away from me? What if she wakes up one morning and realizes I’m not enough for her?
Those walls will stay up. Admittedly, the walls are growing shorter and shorter with every personal, non-judgmental conversation we have together, but they remain as strong as ever, nonetheless.
Whatever I decide to tell her, or whatever stupid excuse bolts from my mouth the moment she questions me about our relationship status, I have to keep better control of myself if she sticks around.
I didn’t realize the importance of doing that until I woke up with a pit in my stomach over the thought that she told me she loved me last night and then I took her to bed.
I slept with her after she told me she loved me.
And that right there is the reason I am not in a space to love her in return. The lust is too strong, and I have the slimmest of control. Lucy deserves so much better than who I am and what I can give her. Heck, even if I did allow myself to love her and could commit to her fully, I still wouldn’t be worthy.
Excuses, excuses,my inner thoughts taunt, but I kick them out for the moment. I have to focus and see what I can salvage between me and Lucy. Especially because we work together.
That thought punches me square in the jaw, and I groan.How in the world are we going to navigate work?
“Oh, this smells divine,” a feminine voice that’s registering on the sleepy end yanks me from my thoughts.I’m not ready…
