He’s my best mate, as he said, so I have to be honest. “The author,” I point to the book in front of me, “is my fake girlfriend for all intents and purposes for the foreseeable future.”
“That’s the same woman who is your event coordinator?”
“And also my assistant director, yep.” I pop the “p” and lean back, crossing my arms while gauging his reaction. He narrows his eyes and rolls his bottom lip into his mouth, contemplating the situation. He’s going to tell me it’s, and I quote, “a bloody ridiculous idea,” but that’s when I’ll shrug and smirk and change the topic of conversation.
“Stone, this is a bloody brilliant idea.” A wide smile stretches across Stanton’s slim face as he steeples his hands and leans onto the table. At that time, Emma Jane sets down my turkey melt, but I can’t stop staring at Stanton.
“I’m sorry, but what?”
“Look at you, mate.” He gestures to my book. “You’re reading her book in the middle of a coffee shop on your lunch break.”
“I don’t have lunch breaks,” I interrupt, trying to change where I think this conversation is headed. “I’m my own boss.”
“Be that as it may, you’re reading your fake girlfriend’s romance book. And this isn’t the first one you’ve read, is it?” He gets a wicked gleam in his eyes as he leans forward further, placing his hands flat on the table.
“No,” I mumble, looking at the big, pointy-leaf plant by the doorway instead of at my best friend who I can’t lie to even if it would save my life. “I’m re-reading them because she hasn’t published any more yet. Though it sounds like her new series will be fantasy, so that’ll be a change.”
Stanton lets out a long whistle as he sits back in the wooden chair and tosses his hands behind his head. “You’re down bad, mate.”
“I’m not down anything. Did you catch the word ‘fake’ before the word girlfriend? It’s a dating-for-convenience type situation. It benefits both of us in our stage of life currently. Nothing more.”
“Nothing more?” He raises one dark brown eyebrow.
“No. I mean, sure, she’s stunning. And she’s funny. She challenges me in ways no other woman has before. She likes me well enough, but it’s only in the way that I like her. You know, lonely companionship and all.” I pause and scratch my head. “But I don’t want to hurt her, and I know she eventually wants to get married. I can’t stop her from that. If she meets a guy along the way while we are faking it, I’ll let her go. I’m not the marrying type. She knows that, which is why we set up ground rules. I think she just wants to have a little fun, too, you know? I want to give her a good time and make her smile.”
Emma Jane arrives with Stanton’s order, and I finally take a bite of my sandwich that has cooled.
Stanton’s animated expression from earlier is replaced with a subdued, contemplative look. “If my advice is worth anything to you, which I think it is, you have two options: let Lucy go or make her yours. Really yours. Don’t play with her heart, Stone. We aren’t in college anymore.” He grabs a spoon and stirs his soup while I chew over his words.
Is it really playing with her heart if she agreed? I’m attracted to her but I have no plans to settle down with her. I know these desirous feelings will go away one day. That goes to show she can be attracted to me with no plans to settle down with me, right? That she’ll get tired of me eventually if I don’t tire of her first.
“Everything will be okay. We are both grown, consenting adults. Like I said, if she finds someone, we will call everything off.”
“What if it’s too late by then?”
I look at him as if his accent changed the meaning of his words.
“What if you have fallen for her? Are you ready for another heartbreak like that?”
Stanton is the only person who knows what truly went down between me and Lacey back on graduation night. No, he doesn’t know her nor was he there, but he’s the only person I’ve confided in about the entire story.
“My heart is made of stone.” I grin at my stupid joke and then chomp another bite out of my sandwich. Stanton stares blankly at me. “But for real. I haven't fallen for a woman in over five years. It’s not going to start now. We are simply entertaining each other for a little while. It’s not too different from other setups I’ve had.Except I know Lucy, and I won’t be doing much in the physical department outside of setting the world on fire with our kisses.”Anything else, that is…
Lucy made a good point stating we are both Christians and shouldn’t fool around. She’s right, and I want to respect her wishes regardless of what my body wants.
“That’s good,” he remarks with a thoughtful nod. “You should really cut out the sex outside of marriage stuff anyway. Don’t connect a woman’s heart to you unless you plan to hold it carefully.”
I shake my head, feeling a familiar tug of conviction. I know that the Lord says to save sex for marriage, but I don’t think He fully understands how hard it is to wait when women throw themselves at you. Maybe He does. I guess I can’t know for sure. Deep down, I know it’s wrong. I know the Bible says to wait. Heck, science says to wait. Bonding hormones and all. I’ve tried to stop. The flesh is always winning, though. It’s consensual, and I get tired of fighting it. It’s not like God truly cares about me anyways.
I can’t talk to anyone about it, either, because I’ll just be judged. In fact, I’ve stopped going to church because it feels like every time I step into one, I’m silently judged for the actions they have no idea I’ve committed.
Like with that stupid sermon Brother Johnny preached last Sunday.
Which begs the statement, maybe people really do know. That’s what a whispered voice in my head says.
Nothing is ever private business in a small town.
Chapter 11
