“What was that for?” she bites, then her fingers move to feel the twig. “Oh.”
“Sorry. I forget your hair captures anything that nears it like a Venus flytrap.” I smirk, thinking I’m teasing her, but she laughs.
“People used to stick pencils in our hair when they sat behind us in school,” she says nonchalantly. “It made Lucy mad, but I just kept their pencils. I never had to purchase a pencil throughout my entire high school career.”
“Resourceful,” I hum, noticing the blue-gold color of her hazel eyes. Her nose comes to a cute point, her cheeks resting high. The desire to trace the delicate bone structure of her face with my nose is overwhelming. I clutch my fists by my side and step back. “Let’s get this fire going. Looks like there are rain clouds on the horizon.”
Lorelei looks up. “Huh. I didn’t realize it was supposed to rain. Yeah, we should get dinner out of the way so that we can tuck ourselves in before the rain.”
An hour later, we are sitting on the ground, drinking tea and eating ramen. No, not the packaged kind. Lorelei brought gluten-free noodles and spices to use. We cooked it over the fire, and now my mouth is aflame with the heat of the Korean chili pepper she brought. She licks her lips, and the desire to kiss her settles deep in my chest. We haven’t talked about that yet, and while I don’t want to necessarily plan our first kiss, I know she hasn’t been kissed yet. I do want to verify that it is something she wants. I’m already aware of her difficulties with sensory overload, and I don’t ever want to make it worse or catch her off-guard.
Will she ever be able to kiss me? Touch me for long lengths of time? Make love to me?
The thoughts sucker punch my stomach. That would be something to heavily consider moving forward. I love physical touch, and quite frankly, I like kissing. Will I be able to be with Lorelei romantically if she can’t give me those things?
I want to shout yes and be the man who doesn’t care, but that wouldn’t be true of me.God, please help us find a way,I plead silently as I slurp noodles.
“Leilei, can I ask you something personal?”
“That’s why we’re doing this, right? So that I can scare you away from liking me?” She takes another bite of ramen as I roll my eyes. She’s been attempting to sabotage this date by saying I’m not supposed to like her, but I keep reminding her that I like her weirdness. I had thought we were over the whole self-sabotage afterour date on the nature trail and Adeline’s House, but apparently she was wholly distracted with her court case. Now that it’s over, she has time to ponder us.
But hey. Sheispondering us. That’s a good sign.
“You’ve never dated anyone, so I will assume that you’ve never been kissed. Is that something you are saving for marriage, or are you open to kissing a man if you’re dating him?”
The ramen slides from her fork, which rests at the edges of her lips as she stares at me. Rounded hazel eyes bore into mine, surprise flickering across her face. “I, uh,” she continues to stutter, her mouth opening and closing like a fish in the nearby river. “Yes?”
I set my bowl down and rest my forearms on my knees, leaning closer to Lorelei. “That sounded like a question more than a confident answer.”
“I’ve never given it much thought,” she whispers, then twists her fork until she slurps noodles. Liquid dribbles down the corner of her mouth, and I reach forward, catching it with my finger. Then, I bring my finger to my lips and lick the liquid. Lorelei tilts her head, as if she’s analyzing my actions, and then she coughs, whipping her head away from me.
Rolling my lips into my mouth, I fight the urge to smirk. Instead, I finally respond. “Would you be opposed to kissing me…” I let the question hang in the air with the sound of the cicadas singing, “if we were dating, that is?”
She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand as she meets my gaze. “If,” she says, “and that’s a bigif, then no. I would not be opposed to kissing you.Ifwe were dating. I am, however, notpracticed in the art of kissing. No idea what I’m doing in that department.”
A smile that could probably rival the rising moon breaks across my face. “I would happily teach you, my bae.”
“If,Finley! I said ‘if.’”
“Right,” I say, picking my bowl back up and twisting ramen around my fork. At that moment, rain drops begin to fall, and the wind starts picking up.
I curse internally, wanting more time with her. Seems the weather report had the wrong time, but what’s new?
To make matters worse, thunder rumbles. It wasn’t supposed to be a storm, just rain.
“Um, Finley…” Hands grasp my forearm.
I tear my eyes from the sky to find Lorelei has scooted closer to me and is sitting on her knees. She’s slightly shaking, her breaths ragged. “I’m scared of only a handful of things. Thunderstorms happen to be on that list.”
Lightning flashes in the sky, followed by another crack of thunder. “Let’s go.”
I grab her by the waist and hoist her up as her nails bite into my skin. Keeping one arm snugly around her, I usher her into my tent.
“My stuff.” She pops her head out of the zipper door just as another flash of lightning brightens the darkened sky. Then like a turtle, her head retreats inside. I dash in several long strides over to her tent, grab her bag and the already unpacked sleeping bag and small pillow, and bolt back to my tent, zipping the door behind me.
Lorelei is curled in a ball with her hands over her ears, tears pricking at her eyes as her breaths come heavy and labored. Just as she starts what looks to be a soothing rocking mechanism, I crawl over to her and sit behind her, wrapping my arms tightly around her. As I pull her into my chest, her legs sprawl out and I hook mine around her. Astrid taught me this strategy for helping someone who is experiencing a panic attack, which it seems is happening to Lorelei.
After several minutes, she begins to breathe easier, and I feel her muscles relax in her arms and legs. She leans her head back on my shoulder, closing her eyes, but she doesn’t move her hands away from her ears. I touch my lips to one of her hands and whisper, “You’re safe. I’ve got you.” I remember what Lucy said about grounding techniques when Lorelei experiences overload, and I briefly wonder if the thunder is too loud for her to handle. “You’re safe, sweetheart. Feel my hands around you. Feel the soft fabric of the blanket on your feet. Notice the lamp hanging in the middle of the tent. Hear my voice. You are safe with me.”
