She lets out a breath then returns to her blank canvas as she says, “Okay, Peppermint. Whatever you say. Anyways, I still vote that you let her go. You don’t need a girl who keeps you on standby and only asks you out when it’s convenient for her.”
I mull her words over while doodling on a blank page in my book. As more lyrics begin to surface to finish out the chorus, I fear Karoline may be right. I don’t want to admit it because, well, frankly speaking, it wounds my pride and ego.But I’ll come runnin’ every time you call ‘cause no matter how deep I fall, I’ll stay by your side with wounded pride as your boyfriend… without the benefits.
That’s the truth of it, though. My lyrics don’t lie. As long as there’s a thin, singular strand of hope that Cassidy will accept me one day, I can’t let go.
“I’m going to try one more time. If she rejects me at the concert, then I’ll call off my pursuit.”
I can practically hear Karoline rolling her eyes beside me, but to my surprise she doesn’t reply with her usual snark. Instead, she makes a noise that sounds like a grunt and a sigh rolled into one. I risk a peek over my shoulder to where she rests against the magnolia tree beside me. She’s zoned in on her painting. I can’t quite tell what it is yet, but knowing her, it’ll be a sight to behold once it’s finished. She has orange paint covering the entire canvas, something she likes to do because, one, it’s easier than looking at a blank, white canvas, and two, it gives her paintings a warm glow at the end. Hues of brown at the base of the painting suggest she’s doing another autumn landscape, but you can never be too certain with her. She has all kinds of tricks up her sleeve when it comes to her painting process. As I watch her brush strokes, I find my eyes wandering up her arm and to her face. She does, in fact, have orange paint streaked across her cheek and a hint of a smile playing at her lips.
Karoline Wright is objectively pretty, and she is obviously no longer the fourteen year-old-girl who used to follow me around. I guess my body decided to recognize that fact by the way I craved to taste her moments ago. It’s amazing what the span of four years can change within a person—physically and emotionally.
As I adjust my seated position, an ache spreads through my shoulder blade from where I fell on it last night after getting a little too drunk with the boys and we broke out into a wrestling match.
That’s why I will strangle and stomp out any hints of attraction to Karoline bubbling to the surface. I know my place, and it’s not destroying one of the few good things I have in this life. Karoline will meet a nice man from a good family who will protect her and love her and support her. She doesn’t need me and my hot mess of a life to drag her down. Karoline is not the type of girl to go out and drink and party with me, and right now, that’s what I need in my life: levity and freedom. One day I’ll stop, but I’m twenty-one and just want to have some fun. Growing up with my military dad was suffocating, especially after Mom died during my eighth grade year. Yeah, Dad got remarried to a pretty cool woman, but she’s not my mom nor has she tried to be since I was already grown at eighteen when they got married.
No matter what, whether I’m into Karoline like that or not, which is undetermined at the moment, I could never be with her. Not until I could be enough for her.
I'm just a hot-blooded male appreciating the beauty of a woman.
And I’m probably just lonely.
Yeah, that’s it.
Cassidy will fix it all…
Chapter Five
Karoline - Present
“Stupid men. Stupid countrysingers. Stupid flowy hair,” I rant underneath my breath, shoving the doors to the store open. I stomp my way through the Southern Grace Boutique and Gift Market, a little too frustrated and a lot too high on thoughts of punching Mason Kane in the face to care about the customers staring at me with open mouths as I trample by. “No Body, No Crime” by Taylor Swiftfeaturing HAIM plays in the background, providing the perfect background music to my mood. I know I should be more like Elsa and “Let it Go,” but three years worth of resentment isimpossibleto release in a moment.
I sweep past the racks of clothes, which are hung by color then style, past the now-empty Christmas tree display of candles and locally-made soaps, and finally past the boxes of shoes against the back wall with lingerie tucked in the corner before I barrel into the employee room and slam the once-open door behind me. Hadley stands at the coffee pot, mid-pour into her mug with Dolly Parton’s face on it that reads “Best Boss Ever.” It’s the one I promised her for Christmas before she left for her road trip back in October.
“Delaney is at the register, so we’re good to sit in here for a minute. I’m not going to ask if you’re fine, ‘cause you’re clearly not, so how about you tell me what’s got you hot and bothered?” Hadley sets the pot down and mixes in sugar and cream while I plop down into the cushioned rolling chair at her desk and bury my face into my hands.
I’m glad you asked, Hads.“Why is he back here casually sitting in my favorite cafe? I thought he left after the wedding? And besides, whywashe at your wedding? Do you know him or something?”
Heeled footsteps clack from behind me. “Honey, you’re going to have to be a little more specific as to who ‘he’ is.” Hadley sits down on the stool I normally sit on when we conference back here. Guilt pricks my conscience because I know my words sound accusing and harsh, but I can’t seem to stop. The rant has begun…
“Ugh. I don’t even want to say his name… but Mason Kane.” His name is as unpleasant as Pop Rocks on the tongue. I lift my head from my hands and twist the chair so I’m facing Hadley. She casually sips her coffee while I’m slowly becomingconsumed by a raging hatred as if I’m Hades boasting a hot blue flame of hair for the world to see.
“Ah. Well, he was at my wedding because he, oddly enough, befriended my husband in a hotel gym while we went on that road trip back in October, you know, before we became a thing and all.” She takes a sip of her coffee. “He said he wanted to build a vacation home here in Juniper Grove, and Michael—”
“HE WHAT?!” I rocket to my feet, clenching my fists at my sides. If I were a cartoon, steam would be rising from my head, my face growing redder inch by inch until I look like an overly-ripened tomato.
Hadley’s light blue eyes widen to the size of saucers, and my insides sink as regret fills me for lashing out in my anger.
“Okay,” she draws out the word, “before I continue, we need to talk about where this fury is stemming from.”
“Mason. Freaking. Kane.” I grind my teeth, clamping down on my jaw until my back teeth throb with pain. As badly as I feel about lashing out in anger, I can’t manage to stop it. It won’t go away. Red seems to be the only color I can see right now. “We grew up together. Neighbors.”
“Ah, I see.” Hadley takes another sip of coffee, a red lip mark lining the rim of the white mug. “And were y’all friendly?”
I sit back down in the seat, crossing a leg and tapping my fingers against the metal desk as I look anywhere but at Hadley. She’s going to see right through me in an instant. “Yes. Best friends, in fact.”
“Hm. Say no more.”
Yeah, I knew I wouldn’t have to tell her that I was in love with him. She was in love with her best friend for years. She knows the signs, how that type of thing goes.
