“Nothing. I just…” I close my eyes, “can’t do this.” My phone drops to my lap.
“Hey, Hayden.” Stella’s voice is soft and gentle. “You’re pretty. Even at this angle.”
I snort, and Stella laughs alongside me. I pick the phone up from my thighs.
“Look, hon. I understand if you don’t want to do this. But, youcando this. I know Darcy is a thorn in your side, but he’s a good man. He genuinely cares about people, which is why he’s running for president even though the political arena isn’t his favorite place to be. He wants to make a change, and he’s willing to go through the fire to see it happen.”
“In the public’s eyes,” I scoff. “He’s a scrooge to me. Why would a man propose to someone he doesn’t tolerate well?”
Stella is silent. It’s a type of silence that makes me squirm.
“What is it?” I finally ask.
“I can’t say, but you should ask him about his Wednesday meetings. It may change your mind about his character.”
I roll my eyes. “He takes breaks by going to faraway meetings on Wednesdays? Yeah, I know that. And I don’t think he has a badcharacter. I wouldn’t support him for president if I thought that. I respect him, and I—”
Whoa.
“I trust him,” I finish in disbelief at the realization. He is capable and well-off. He takes care of his team. He never misses a deadline or an event. He’s committed and trustworthy. “I may not like him, but Itrusthim.” Does marriage really have to be about love? Or is trusting the person more important?
“You always said you never wanted to fall in love.” Stella sounds skeptical, but she’s only repeating my words back to me. Yeah, I’ve said that. But I never really meant it. I think she knows that. I only wanted to portray my independence and confidence within myself instead of a man. I’ve always depended on myself alone. Well, and God. Though I could benefit from not making Him an afterthought these days.
“Do you think it would be morally wrong for me to marry him and then dissolve the marriage after everything is said and done?”
Stella contemplates this on the other end of the screen as she begins to dress for work. “Biblically, they married for reasons other than love all the time. Marriages were often transactional in nature. I don’t think that it’s wrong. But if you were to consummate the marriage and then—”
“Take your horses and hold them tight, Stella. Nobody said anything about consummating.” My stomach rumbles with nausea at the sheer thought.
“I’m just saying…”
“No!” I bark. “Go get ready for work. We can talk later when your brain lets this whole consummation thing go.”
Stella laughs heartily. “No matter what you decide, I’m in your corner.”
“Bye, Stella.” But before we click off, I hear her laugh and say to Lucas, “Oh, they’resogoing to fall in love.”
The phone drops to my lap again, and I stare at the paused image of my anime show.
Tohru falls in love with the grump at the end of the show. Turns out, Kyo, the love interest, was misunderstood. Is Darcy simply misunderstood? Can I dig underneath the surface to try and understand him? Could we work together as a marital team, guiding this country? Could I learn to like him? Possibly even love… No. Let’s not go there.
A place to live, student loans paid, a heftier income, and not to mention the chance to become First Lady…
If I became First Lady, I could use that to land my dream job of becoming Secretary of State one day. Hillary Clinton did it, and I’d be ten times—a million times—better than her. Bonus, I look better in pantsuits than she does.
Can I do this? Am I going to marry a man for reasons other than love? It’s a completely counter-cultural thought.
This is the life I’ve been given. My parents abandoned me. I grew up bouncing between group and foster homes, and I’ve spent a lot of time running away to the streets. And now, I’m going to marry for money and stability over love.
We won’t technically be married because consummation willnothappen. So when it comes time to divorce him, I can have a clean conscience.
Am I really doing this?
God, is this what You want me to do? Please give me direction.
Chapter Ten
Darcy
