I don’t have time to fight him, plus the nearest rideshare is twenty minutes away.
“Let’s just go,” I say, picking up my dropped luggage and shoving ahead of him. He trails directly behind me, not bothering to match my pace like he usually does. I can’t help but feel that it’s purposeful. His legs are much longer than mine, afte rall.
We make it to his truck and take the silent, short drive to the Norfolk airport.
One thing is very clear as I make my way to TSA and Braxton walks away from me without watching me go through the line: I’ve lost my new boyfriend.
More importantly, I’ve lost my best friend.
Theflightwentsmoothly,thank the universe. Or whatever I’m supposed to thank. It’s hard to know in circumstances like these. I thought for a moment I’d acknowledged God’s existence. Up on those slopes, it seemed impossible to deny Him. When Braxton sings to Him, I know he’s not feigning the emotion written across his closed eyes and reverent expression. I started to believe…just maybe…
Then the other shoe dropped.
“Oh good, you made it!” I hear Lucy’s voice before I see her. I whip around to find her sitting near baggage claim. Thankfully, I don’t have to wait.
“Let’s go,” I say.
“Lorelai is at the hospital. Rose Lynn is stable, but still unconscious.” Lucy continues to update me as we make it to her car parked in the airport garage and begin the three hour drive back to Juniper Grove. Honestly, flying home only saved me about three hours. I guess a little more if you include any stops we would have had to make while driving straight through.
Lucy tells me that Mama took a drug that an inmate had smuggled in somehow, according to the guard on duty (who I will definitely be hunting down and having a chat with). Then Mama began to complain of stomach aches and dizziness. Only minutes later, Mama erupted into full blown seizures before passing out. Her breathing and heart rate slowed to dangerous levels before stopping all together. The doctors were able to revive her, but she’s still unconscious.
“I should have bailed her out before leaving on that stupid road trip,” I state, gazing out the window as we pass by a wall of green.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Hads. You didn’t know this would happen. You are not her keeper.”
“But I am. Who else does she have?” I ask. I’m not mad at Lucy for her statement, but I wish she understood. Why would a statement like that from Braxton light my fire, but from Lucy, it’s taken as support? I guess with him, there’s too much envy for his perfect life.
And in that moment, I realize I forgot one important, recent detail of Braxton’s life. He lost his sweet, kind mama to cancer as she wasted away in a hospital bed.
The guilt I experienced earlier in his presence is nothing compared to the utterly disgusting sickness washing over me in waves. I am a truly terrible person for lashing out at him like that. Especially when his perfect life was shaken so hard last year at the loss of his mama. Hearing my mama was in the hospital probably stirred up unwelcome memories. Why couldn’t I have thought about all that during the moment? It sure would have saved me from making a total snake of myself.
“Maybe this will be a wakeup call for her. Maybe this time she’ll get her life right.“ Lucy’s words jolt me from my thoughts. I can only hope it will be a wakeup call for Mama.
Maybe I need a wakeup call, too. No, I’m not an addict like Mama, but I share her tenacious, selfish attitude.
And that has got tochange.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Braxton
Therumblingofthetires hitting the grooves in the side of the road makes my eyes snap open.Shoot.I need to find a gas station, stat. Checking the time on the dash, I sigh. Only four more hours of driving.
After dropping Hadley off at the airport, I went back to the hotel and packed my own bags. I told Mary Anne and David congratulations again, informed them of Hadley’s travel plan, and left. My brain has been in a constant fog since she snapped at me.
“Unlike you, I don’t have the perfect mother, or father, or a sibling.”
Her words penetrate the fog inhabiting my head every now then, sending strikes of agony through my soul.
Mom died in a hospital bed. In the same hospital Rose Lynn is probably in right now. Though it’s been a little over a year since her death, it’s still fresh on my mind like it happened yesterday. The pain I feel associated with those memories still sting like the moment she closed her eyes. I know she’s in a better place, a much happier place, with our Savior. But dang, it still hurts like heck.
I don’t think Hadley was aware of what she was saying at that moment. Anger, frustration, and sadness had consumed her. The light blue eyes I love so much had darkened like a tropical storm brewing over the Gulf of Mexico. She didn’t mean to stab me with her words, I have to believe that. But I’m kind of glad she took a plane and is not sitting in my passenger seat right now. I need the space.
A light flickers ahead, and I pray it’s a gas station. Praise be, it is! I pull in, stretch my legs, and buy one of those new, supposedly healthy, energy drinks. I try to avoid them, but this drive requires one, much like drives from the Gulf up to Juniper Grove when I get off the rig. My phone rings, and it’s Michael. Why’s he calling me in the middle of the night?God, Brandi better be okay.I can’t take anything else…
“Michael, what’s wrong?” I answer, my mind already hurtling to worst case scenarios. Man, I need sleep.
“Everything’s fine,” he says gently. I assume he hears the tired panic in my voice. “I heard earlier from Brandi that Hadley’s mom was in the hospital and that she’d flown home. I figured you were on the road.”
