“No, I work offshore. Designing and building is something I do for fun when I’m home for my month off the rig.”
He scratches his chin. “You seem pretty passionate about it. Why not make a career out of it?”
I laugh. “You sound like my brother-in-law. He’s a contractor. Been trying for the past few years to get me to go back to school then into business with him.”
“So what’s stopping you?”
I swallow at the memories of Mom surfacing. “My mom was an architect. Before she passed away. We used to build things together all the time. She stirred the passion. By the time I made it to college, she was sick with cancer, and I needed a quick, good paying job to help support her medical bills.” I stop for a moment, hoping I’m not annoying the guy with my life story. He raises an eyebrow, prompting me to continue.
“Dad’s a pastor, by the way. No money there.” I chuckle. “Didn’t have the time to get the schooling needed for a degree.”
“Moms are awesome, aren’t they?” He smiles. Somehow, it’s the perfect response. Quite frankly, I’m tired of people telling me they are sorry for my loss. “What kind of cancer did she die from, if you don’t mind me asking?”
I take another sip of my drink, letting the burn travel down my throat. “Carcinoid. It was a slow, grueling sickness.”
“My older sister, Jane, died from leukemia when she was only twelve. I was seven at the time, and didn’t understand what was happening. But my mom, she was always there. Even when Jane flew from this earth, Mom stayed strong while Dad fell apart.”
“Moms are awesome,” I repeat his earlier sentiment. Brandi comes to mind, and I don’t let myself imagine losing her. I hold up my glass. “To Moms and sisters.”
“Moms and sisters.” He clinks his glass against mine.
We settle into an easy conversation, and I’m glad Mary Anne is marrying this man.
I need more guy friends.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Hadley
“Tell.Me.Everything.”MaryAnne slaps my thigh with every enunciation. We plop down on the king size bed in my hotel room (this place is bougie) and I tell her everything.
I tell her of Cheater Dank Nose Daniel, needing a date to her wedding, and how I am desperately trying to overcome the internal critic living within my mind telling me I’m not good enough for Braxton.
“I always knew you two would come to your senses.” She snickers, pulling me into a much-needed hug. Talking about everything that’s happened over the past six days was a bit overwhelming. Did I rush into things with Braxton? He wasn’t wrong. I was just cheated on.
I pull out of her embrace. “We admitted we’ve always loved each other. So that’s something.” I sigh, tapping my good hand against my thigh. “I hate this self-doubt. One moment I’m perfectly at peace, and then the next, the feelings of inferiority set in. It’s so,” I shake my head with a huff, “unbelievably frustrating.”
Mary Anne thinks for a moment. “You’re Braxton and Hadley. I mean, he knows everything about you, right? And he loves you. Let the peace win.” My mind transports me back to college and the night that changed me forever. I turn my head away from Mary Anne. She knows about it. As do Lorelai and Lucy.
“You didn’t tell him?” she asks, but it’s more like a statement.
“No,” I grapple for words. “I haven’t told him. It’s just… What if he looks at me differently? What if he doesn’t want to be with me? What if he—”
“He’s been with you practically y'all's entire life,” she interrupts.
“I meanwithme. Not only am I ruined from that night, but also all the times after that. You know I’m not a saint, Mary Anne.” I unstrap and restrap the velcro on my brace. The unwanted memories swim around like sharks smelling blood in the water, poised to attack. “I don’t think I can risk telling him. He may decide he doesn’t love me anymore.”
“Hads, don’t take this the wrong way. You know I adore you.” She places a hand on top of my good one. “You and Braxton make sense. He brings out the best in you. You bring out the fun in him. You work. And there is so much love between you two—a deep, rooted, unwavering love.”
“How would I take that the wrong way?” I laugh, trying to mask the tears threatening to fall.
“I’m not finished.” Her brown eyes hold mine. “He’s the one for you. Always has been. You can’t go into this relationship with him—one that is destined to end with you walking down the aisle and taking his last name—living a lie. He knows your past to a certain extent. Telling him about that night in college is not going to chase him away.”
Several moments of silence, interrupted only by small puffs of breath, go by. I chew on her words, wondering if she’s right. Am I destined to be his forever? I said I made that choice before leaving the ski resort, but did I actually mean it? Can I do this?
“I’ll think about it.” It’s the only assurance I can give her. “But right now, we need to focus on YOU. It’s your wedding! Rehearsals are tonight.” I jump off the bed, throw my hands in the air as if releasing the negative thoughts into the wild, and twirl around. Mary Anne immediately joins me, and we giggle like school girls discussing their crushes as she tells me all about her time in Virginia these past two weeks with David and preparing their future home.
Icanfeelhispresence behind me, as if some invisible force is drawing us together in the ballroom of the hotel.
