The firefighter has good taste,she thought.
He pulled out two-hundred-dollar bills. “Will this cover it?” he asked, holding it out for her.
“Grayson, you don’t have to give me money. It’s my treat,” Stassi insisted.
“You cook, I’ll provide.
She looked at him in awe. It was a simple statement that held an old-school sentiment. He was a classic man, apparently, and he believed in traditional gender roles. She didn’t know if she loved or hated it, but she knew better than to argue.
It could be a red flag for a man to believe in chauvinistic ideals and who has misogynist expectations, or it could mean security. It could mean that forever kind of love with a man who would go to work and come home every day, never cheating, never lying, never complaining, until the end of days. She wondered which type he was.
She took the money and stuffed it in her pocket. “If you insist,” she said.
“I do,” he countered.
“Seven o’clock,” she said. “You know where I live.”
“Whoa! Hey, where are you going?” Lauren asked.
“She needs space,” Demi huffed. “I need you to stay here, Lo. Until she lets me come back, I need you to be here.”
“Boy, what?” Lauren hissed. “You’re running out, Demi. This girl is not my responsibility.”
“You really want to be in that house by yourself? I risked my shit with her to be there with you. I can’t lose her, Lo.”
“You aren’t thinking clearly, Demi. She and I aren’t friends,” Lauren protested in a hushed whisper. “This is her house. I can’t babysit her just because she’s mad at you.”
“If I lose her, that’s going to be the end of me,” he admitted.
Lauren looked at him sympathetically. “The way you love her… Like the depth of it. It’s almost scary. You’re not supposed to risk it all for another human being, Demi. You’re supposed to be able to live without them. Maybe give her a bit of space to learn how to live without you. Let her figure out how to love you without needing you to breathe. You took a week to grieve your son, and she completely unraveled. You both need to come down to reality because the love is too potent. It’s so high that even the two of you are having a hard time reaching it. Too much of a good thing can be bad. You need time apart. That way, when she does come back, this time you know it’s because she wants to, not because she needs to. You’d be smart to learn to do the same. I’m not smothering her. I’m not guarding her for you. She’s grown, and I have my own shit to work out. Get your shit together.”
Demi walked out, and Lauren sighed before gathering her things and leaving, too.
Chapter 15
Don’t walk into this church unannounced. He did not invite you here,” Lauren whispered. She heard herself. She wanted to be the levelheaded woman who waited respectably for a man to call her first, but Lauren was pressed. Nyair was the only positive force in her life at the moment. He was like that hint of light that peeked over the storm clouds. Dare she say he might even be the rainbow after the storm?
She got out of the car and walked inside the church. She knew he was there because his car was in the parking lot. She was on some real-life dick-stalking shit, and she was so ashamed. She was being a hussy in the house of the Lord, but she wasn’t shamed enough to turn around. Going home alone felt like a looming terror. She didn’t want to face the new solitude of her house. She had half a mind to sell it. It was where she lived as a wife and a mother. Both those roles were stripped from her. She didn’t need the big, empty house to remind her that she was alone.
“It’s a blessed day in the house of the Lord. I haven’t seen your face around here. How can I help you?”
A woman in a purple skirt and ivory blouse greeted her.
“Umm, yes, I’m looking for Pastor Ny,” Lauren said.
“Do you have an appointment?” the woman asked.
“I don’t. I’m a friend. Do I need one?” Lauren asked.
“Well, normally, but I can let him know you’re here. He’s in his office with one of our members now. You can wait right here,” the woman said, pointing to a chair. “What’s your name?”
“Lauren,” she answered.
The woman disappeared inside the church offices, and Lauren waited in the hallway nervously. She pulled the Mario Bros. Amiibo from her coat pocket. She had taken it from DJ’s room at Demi’s house. It made her feel closer to him just to carry it with her.
“God, please help me through this,” she whispered.
Before she could fall down a well of sadness, the door opened, and she stood as Nyair and his brother, Ethic, walked out. Lauren had seen Ethic before. His son, Eazy, played on DJ’s football team as well. She wanted to say she had even seen his family at the funeral. She couldn’t even remember because the funeral had felt like a blur. His presence felt grand, however, like she was supposed to acknowledge him.
