“You look beautiful. You’re legit glowing,” Stassi complimented.
“I don’t know how. I feel terrible,” Charlie replied. She reached inside her handbag and pulled out the ultrasound. She placed it on the table. “It’s a girl.” Her monotone announcement made Stassi stare at her in concern.
“Damn, Charlie, you could give me some excitement or something. No gender reveal, no nothing, just slapping the news on a dirty table,” Stassi teased. Stassi frowned and reached across the table for her sister’s hand. “Are you okay?”
Charlie shook her head. “No, Stass. I don’t think I am.” The dismal tone of Charlie’s voice told Stassi all she needed to know.
“What do you need from me?” Stassi asked, instantly jumping into ‘fix it’ mode.
“I wish it was that simple,” Charlie replied. “It’s Demi. It’s like we’re not even together. He’s sleeping at Lo’s. He never calls. He doesn’t check in. We got into the worst argument yesterday and I haven’t heard from him since.”
“Charlie, the funeral’s tomorrow. I can see how he’s been distracted. It will get better after it’s over,” Stassi promised.
“Will it?” Charlie questioned. “Because I’m not so sure anymore. It’s like DJ’s death is bringing him and Lauren closer together and tearing me and him apart. I feel like I don’t belong.”
Stassi sighed, and she debated if she should tell Charlie her true thoughts. As sisters, they had found their flow. Sometimes, they came to one another to vent, and sometimes they came for guidance. When it was a vent session, you weren’t looking for a response. You weren’t looking for the devil’s advocate. Sometimes a girl just needed validation without challenge because the situation a bitch was facing was difficult enough. But on the days when you were open to growth, you wanted your sister to hold a mirror up to your face to tell you when you were wrong. A man could tell you his side of things and accuse youof being unfair until he was blue in the face, but if your best homegirl didn’t agree, he had no wins. Stassi stared at Charlie, searching her eyes for preference on this day. Did Charlie want reassurance, or did she want the real?
“Why are you looking crazy? Say something!” Charlie urged.
“I’m trying not to hear you, sis. I’m just listening and trying to support you. I know how sensitive you are.”
“Sensitive? The motherfucka ain’t been home, Stassi! I’m not being sensitive! I’m not being hormonal!” Charlie was so emotional that she was yelling. The other patrons eyed the pair curiously.
“Girl, keep your eyes on your own damn paper. Your answers ain’t over here,” Stassi hissed at the nosy Black girl at the next table. She focused back on Charlie. “I saw Demi.”
The way Charlie’s eyes lit up at just the mention of his name reminded Stassi of an addict.
“Saw him where? How is it that you’ve seen him more than I have in the past week?”
Stassi hesitated, and Charlie could sense the reluctance.
“You were with Day, and y’all pulled up or something? Where did you see him, Stassi?”
Stassi took a deep breath and spit it out. “At Lauren’s.”
Charlie’s confusion couldn’t be missed. “Why would you be at Lo’s?”
“I’m making the arrangements for the funeral, Charlie,” Stassi admitted.
Charlie scoffed in disbelief. “So, I’m the only one who isn’t invited? Lauren allowed you to help, but won’t even let me pay my respects?” Charlie’s feelings were crushed.
“Charlie, you’re measuring yourself against a lot, and it’s not about that right now. You haven’t seen Lauren. You don’t know how bad it is. Even for Demi. I’ve seen them, up close, and right now, they’re connected by something nobody would everwant to be connected by. Even they wish they didn’t share it. But it’s strong. It’s kind of beautiful. It’s against their will. It’s unconditional. It’s everything you expect to see from a man and his wife.”
“She’s not his wife,” Charlie whispered, eyes drowning in melancholy.
“When you look at them, you can’t tell. Not right now. For better or worse, ‘til death do them part. Everybody just assumes that God was talking about the bride and groom, but I don’t think anyone thought to ask whose death. This is the worst part. Just give him until after the funeral. I’m not a fan of Demi’s. You know that. But if he doesn’t see this through, I’m not sure if you’ll love the version of him that comes back to you. They need each other for this.”
Charlie was so bothered that her hands shook as she picked up her tea.
“I’ve never wanted anyone the way that I want him. I’ve never loved anyone like this. I don’t want to love anyone like this. Just him. He’s not optional. Whatever I’m a part of is a part of him because I can’t see myself without him. He’s compartmentalized me, Stassi. He’s giving people the option to take him, but not me. I understand they are in pain. I even understand that she needs him, but he’s my fiancé. He’s supposed to be my future husband. She shouldn’t even have the option to have him without me. I’m not even able to hold his hand while he says goodbye to his son. I’m not able to pay my respects or even tell her how sorry I am—because I am, Stass! I’m so sorry for what happened to DJ. I’m so sad about it! I’m heartbroken that my baby won’t have her older brother here. I’m devastated that every time we get to celebrate our child, we will have to mourn another. I’m aching, and nobody cares!”
“No, Charlie, nobody cares about you right now,” Stassi whispered harshly. “It’s not about you! Youarehis future wife,and Demi is crazy about you. I kinda hate him, but I’ll give him that. He loves you, but in Lauren’s world, you’re the mistress that dismantled her life and sent her son into depression.”
“That’s not fair…”
“It’s not,” Stassi agreed, yielding sympathetic eyes to Charlie. “But neither is burying a little boy. Nothing about that is fair, and if you make him choose, even if he chooses you, you’ll lose. They both need this closure.”
Charlie sighed. “I just wish I could turn back time. I would have tried harder to connect with DJ. I would have fixed things with Lo sooner. I would have tried so many things to make this feel like one family instead of whatever this is now. I really wish I could change this or even just hug Demi’s son. Do you know I’ve never really felt like myself around him? I always tried so hard, and it just never felt natural. It never felt like he was home.”
