“And while you’re holding her together, who’s going to take care of you?” Charlie asked. “You’re not okay either, and you’remyresponsibility.”
She swept up the last of the glass and emptied it into the trash.
“I’m so worried about you, Demi. Like sick with worry,” she admitted. Demi pushed out a forceful sigh and reached for her hand, pulling her into him.
“You are the guiltiest pleasure I’ve ever had, Bird,” he said. “I’m doing the best I can with what’s in front of me. Right now, Lo needs me. It doesn’t really matter what I need. I just want to get through this funeral. I just need you to bear with me, baby. You have my heart, but she had my son, and this thing right here is only something me and Lo can do. You understand?”
Charlie didn’t want to remind him of the child she was carrying, but in her mind, she was screaming,what about me?Perhaps it was because she wasn’t showing yet that Demi didn’t consider that she, too, had needs in the situation.Lauren was a woman he loved once. If Charlie was honest, she would admit that he still may love her. He hadn’t loved her enough to save their marriage, but she wasn’t naïve to the fact that fifteen years of a bond didn’t disappear in an instant. They had built a life and a family. The nucleus of that family had perished. Charlie was sure Demi’s old feelings were resurfacingand it terrified her. Lauren was the total package. She was beautiful and successful. From what Charlie could gather, she was kind and accommodating. And now she was vulnerable. The threat of Demi returning home to Lauren and realizing he had made a mistake was an insecurity that formed in Charlie’s mind before she could stop it.
She nodded because the lump in her throat stopped her from speaking. She would come off insensitive if she protested, so she suffered silently as he placed a kiss on her chin and then her lips before he turned for the bedroom.
“I’ma grab a bag and head over there,” he said. “I don’t want you here by yourself. Maybe you should call your sister over here to stay with you for a few days.”
So, my family can look after me, but nobody else but you will do for Lauren,Charlie thought. Was she not a priority? Did Lauren matter more than she did? How could she be engaged to a man and carrying the child of someone who didn’t put her first? Charlie didn’t know if her offense was selfish or justified, but she felt it all the same. She was too fucking embarrassed to even call Stassi and admit that Demi was going back home to Lauren, so she would not be extending an invitation for her sister to come to pity her. This felt like something she needed to hide, and it was only a reminder that when they started, she had been a secret, his mistress. It seemed that stain never went away. Ring or no ring, Lauren’s title as wife trumped hers. Hell, even as the ex-wife, she was put first. Under the guise of support, Charlie allowed it. She didn’t want to be the jealous girlfriend. She didn’t want to bring about little problems and make the situation worse. She swallowed her pride and watched her man pack his bags, all the while feeling like she was on the verge of tears. She stood at the door to their bedroom, leaning against the frame with her arms folded over her chest.
“Will you be able to make it to our doctor’s appointment?” she asked. “Should I just reschedule?”
Demi paused. Going to hear their baby’s heartbeat for the first time had been on the calendar for weeks. He turned to her, and Charlie held her breath.
“Rescheduling might be better, Bird. I need a little time to wrap my mind around things. I don’t know how to celebrate and mourn at the same time,” he said truthfully. “We have time. The baby won’t be here for months. I can’t see past the next week.”
She nodded and then walked out of the room before he saw the disappointment in her eyes. Charlie didn’t want to rush his healing. She didn’t even want him to completely abandon Lauren. She just wanted to be a part of the process. She wanted to matter enough for him to lean on her when he was weak. She could see him struggling. She could almost see the pain radiating off him like sun rays from a car on a blazing summer day. How could he not seek her for relief? Did she not provide that for him? Was she capable of being that for him? She wanted to be, but he didn’t seem to expect that of her, and as his fiancé, it bothered her because that meant the position was open and Lauren was overly qualified.
She stayed in the living room as she heard him preparing to leave. He showered, packed, and then rounded the corner to face her. The duffel in his hand made her eyes burn with emotion.
Why does it feel like he’s not coming back?Charlie thought.
“I’ll call you,” he said.
Those were his departing words. No kiss. No hug. Just a promise to reach out, like he was a nigga who had taken her on a date, and he was skating out with false promises because the vibe had been off.
Charlie wanted to call his name. She wanted to stop him, but she didn’t feel like she should have to. He should know. He should feel her the way she felt him, and he should have knownthat every step he was taking felt like a sledgehammer to a glass heart.
When those taillights rolled down the driveway, a heat wave of anger started at her head and radiated through her entire body.
She felt so many things she didn’t know if they were rational. She was jealous, and it was absurd. What kind of woman was envious of another woman who had just lost a child? She didn’t know if it was the pregnancy hormones or if she was truly losing her mind, but the duty she was witnessing from Demi to Lauren bothered her. It felt intimate, and it felt reserved for a party of two. Another woman was doing a dance with her man, and Charlie didn’t like it. She hadn’t realized that even after divorcing, Demi and Lauren would have moments reserved for them. She had thought eventually they would form some kind of family and that life would include her, especially now that they were getting married and having a baby. Charlie’s mistake was only planning for the happy times. She could have never predicted a time like this, and in this world, family didn’t include her. Demi was being summoned by obligations she hadn’t prepared for.
“Just get through this week. It’s just until the funeral,” she whispered, but there was a nagging in her gut that taunted her because this could be the thing that caused Demi to spin the block on Lauren and choose to leave her behind.
Chapter 6
Day
I’m sending a car for you in an hour.
Stassi frowned as the text came through to her phone. It had been two days since the showcase. She hadn’t heard from him. She knew he had a lot going on, so she didn’t necessarily expect to hear from him, but to burst into her head out of the blue so casually annoyed her soul.
Stassi
So, your mama didn’t raise you with any manners, huh? Hi, Day. I’m fine and you?
No sooner than she had pressed send, Day was calling. Stassi hadn’t expected a phone call. He was clearly not in the mood for games. She answered on the third ring.
“My day is already hard enough, Anastassia. Why you got to make it harder?” he asked.
She felt an instant sympathy for giving him attitude because he sounded drained.
“Not trying to make your day hard, sir. Just making sure you know that rude shit you do with other women won’t fly around here.”
