Now an unknown enemy was holding Adam, and the higher-ups in Washington were twiddling their thumbs. DOD and the political types were running the pros and cons and the possibilities of blowback on them and the others they gave a fuck about, while the team was told to stand the fuck down.
I was beyond fucking pissed. Especially in light of Adam being who and what he was to this team and our teammates. Despite Foster being our leader, Adam was the tip of our spear. Where he led, we followed. He was the goddamn glue. He held this fucking team together, and he had singlehandedly saved this country and our government more times than I could count. Now they were leaving him out to fucking dry.
As for what Adam meant to me personally, outside of him being Alpha Two and my best fucking friend, Adam was the love of my life. While I might not have been the love of his life because he was too goddamn scared to admit it, unlike Adam, I wasn’t too much of a pussy to admit I loved him, and I’d be damned if I brought him home in a flag-draped box.
I slammed out of the TOC as soon as Commander Mercer said, “Dismissed.” I stormed down the hall. People scattered as I shoved past some young sailor who’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Behind me, I heard my brothers yelling out to me, but fuck that shit. I needed to get away.
Someone grabbed my arm. I whirled on them, fist raised, ready to take them the fuck out. Luckily, I realized who was standing in front of me before I tanked my damn career.
“Rocket, man, you’ve gotta chill,” Foster said.
I glared at Foster. I knew he was right. He typically always was, even before he came over to Alpha. He was known across DevGru as always being right and having all the answers. It was a huge character flaw in my opinion, but I knew I needed to slow my roll.
Goddammit, this is Adam we are talking about, though.
The thought flashed through my mind. A fucking flashing neon sign that wouldn’t fucking go away.
I pulled away from Foster as I stared at him. Sighing, I nodded.
I started to say something, but Foster sighed and pulled me aside. He glanced around and whispered, “I’m not fucking blind, Brock. I know there’s more to what you’re feeling and going through than what the rest of us are.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but he waved me off. Then he said, “And it’s fine with me. I don’t give a shit. You both do your damn job, and there’s never been any question in my mind where your head is at when you’re outside the wire. But unless you wanna clue command in on all the things you’ve been keeping to yourself, you need to fucking rein it in.”
I swallowed, glaring at him, but like Adam, Foster just waited me out. He was giving me time to come to the realization on my own, which I always did.
“Fuck,” I growled and walked away.
“Rocket?” Foster called.
I turned and looked at him silently.
He walked toward me. Foster had that fatherly vibe to him, which was a good thing since he has a whole passel of kids. I could never remember how many, but he’d knocked his woman up regularly for years.
“I’m here. You understand? If you need to talk or feel yourself spiraling, you come find me,” Foster said.
My emotions had run close to the surface since I’d realized Adam had been captured. I clenched my teeth until they felt close to busting. I nodded, lowering my head as I threaded my fingers through my hair. “Yeah. I hear you. I think I’m going to head back to my place. Beer and video games sound good.”
Foster stared at me. You could see the wheels and gears spinning in his head. Other than Adam, Foster was the most analytical motherfucker I’d ever met. Foster had a bit of a leg up on Adam since there’d been a Holt on the teams since the beginning.
I’d met Foster’s old man. He was a character, but he’d made it to admiral from enlisted back when that just wasn’t done. He was brilliant as fuck, and the gears never stopped spinning. You could see them turning whenever you looked in his face. Admiral Matthew Holt might have been getting up there in years, but he still had the operator mentality, and he’d definitely handed that shit down to his kids.
“That sounds like a good time. I’ll grab the boys and we’ll make a night of it,” Foster said, pulling me out of my head.
“Bring your older two. We’ve gotta make sure they’re growing up right,” I suggested.
SEALs didn’t get a lot of time with their kids. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t taking time away from his.
Foster grinned and slapped me on the back. “Wilco! Asher and Bauer will love spending the afternoon with their honorary uncles.”
“I’d say your kids are lucky your moms and pops gave you a couple of brothers, so those kids of yours have better role models than a bunch of frogmen, but I seem to remember you have a brother who’s a Raider and another on Delta team. So, those kids are shit out of luck. Might as well ruin ‘em while we can,” I laughed dryly, trying to do what Adam would want.
Hours later, my living room, which wasn’t big enough for this shit, was filled with the team and Foster’s two oldest—twins.
Fucking twins. I can’t fucking imagine having one kid, much less two at once.
Looking around this room, I felt Adam’s absence even more than I had on the trip stateside. My other half was fucking missing.
