“I have so many regrets, Brock. But I need you to know if I’d died, my biggest regret would’ve been never telling you I love you,” I croaked as my voice broke.
Brock gasped softly. A war waged on his face between hope and disbelief. I knew this wouldn’t be easy. He kept coming back, and I kept hurting him.
I’d hurt him so many times.
It hadn’t been easy keeping the words to myself all these years. It was hell. Now, though, I realized something that was even worse than not being able to say them. I now knew how it felt to have those words rejected or ignored.
I breathed deeply. “I do, Brock. I love you. I always have. I just couldn’t admit it. Not even to myself, because I couldn’t see a way for us. I knew if I took that last step, if I said those words, it would hurt twice as much as denying it.”
Brock got up and walked away, turning his back on me. His arms banded across his chest again.
I stared at his big, strong body as I confessed, “I begged God for the opportunity to say those words to you. I promised him that if he let me get out of that fucking place alive, I would never, ever deny my feelings for you or reject yours for me again. You are my everything. You are the air I breathe. The center of my world. You have been from the moment I met you. All I want in this world is to be with you. I will do whatever the fuck I have to do to spend the rest of my life loving you.”
I waited, giving him time to digest all the things I’d just dumped on him. Several moments passed, but he still hadn’t said anything.
“Rocket, baby?”
He turned to me. His eyes closed, and his face was wet with the tears that were still falling from his eyes.
“I think I fell in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you.” His beautiful, soulful eyes opened. “You said I’m the center of your world. Youaremy world, babe. Without you, I have nothing to live for. Because nothing makes any sense.”
Brock came back to me, sitting down on the bed next to my legs, cupping my face. “When they forced me on that plane after you were captured, I realized I might never see you again, and I prayed. God, how I prayed for you. For us. I promised him that I would take whatever you were able to give me as long as you made it home alive.”
I mimicked his actions, cupping his face and pulling his lips to mine. I kissed him, and my soul sighed.
“You will never have to settle for half-measures from me again. I’m all in, all the time. From this moment on, I am yours, and if the Navy and the teams don’t like it? Well, they can go fuck themselves.Youare what matters to me.”
He crushed his smiling mouth to mine, stealing my breath. I slid my arms around his neck. My body hurt so bad, but the joy in my heart overshadowed it.
Minutes or hours later, Brock pulled away, his lips shiny and swollen and begging for me to kiss them. Again. So, I did. I would never deny that urge again. I took his mouth savagely. Our tongues battled, tasting and taking and giving until I was no longer able to continue.
While our chests heaved, struggling to catch our breaths, Brock said, “How do you feel about changing jobs?”
EPILOGUE
BROCK
SEPTEMBER 20, 2011
We were sittingon our couch, staring at the TV dumbfounded, when our phones rang. Adam picked up his phone and showed me the screen. I chuckled.
He nodded at mine, and I turned the screen over and held it out for the both of us to see. They were two peas in a pod.
The encrypted phone Adam used for work rang as well.
Adam laughed. The dimple that so rarely made an appearance flashed, turning my knees to jelly and making me thankful I was sitting down.
“Three for three,” he said as he muted both his phones, turning them off, before taking mine from me and doing the same with it.
“You don’t wanna see what they want?” I asked.
I knew what Foster, Walker, and Matthew Holt wanted—at least, I thought I did. The problem was figuring out what my answer would be to the questions I thought they would ask.
Adam looked at the TV and then back at me. He slid down off the couch, pushing the coffee table out of the way as he kneeled between my splayed thighs. His eyes flared to life briefly as his hands smoothed up my thighs.
“No. I don’t. I think we both know what they want.”
I smiled at him and nodded. “Yeah. So, are we going to do it? Are we going to re-enlist?”
