“I don’t have issue with anything other than the invite and not even really that, but a heads up I might walk in on you screwing would’ve been appreciated. That’s all.”
“Agreed,” they said in unison.
I burst out laughing, then said, “A seriously dry spell? Huh? I think it’s more than that if you’re finishing each other’s sentences.”
The twins’ eyes bulged, and Trey rolled his before slapping my back and shoving me toward my room. “Put that shit away. I’m fucking starving and we gotta bond and shit so that,” he hitched his thumb over his shoulder, “never happens again.”
We’d gone to dinner, the four of us, and I messaged Ewen through the app that I would be by to pick up my stuff after practice the next day. He sent a thumbs up, and that was it. EDGE came in handy, but the facilities weren’t meant for long-term living. Not really.
“Dude, are you okay?”
The words came to me muffled by the rampaging thoughts racing through my skull. I screwed up during the game, and everything fell apart. Everyone tried to convince me I had it wrong, but I didn’t believe them.
“Aiden! Dude, pull your head outta your ass,” Trey said, snatching up the other controller before falling back into the recliner.
I blinked, and the television I stared at unseeingly came into focus; the video game I’d been playing had timed out with a message that the server kicked me off for inactivity. Huffing, I tossed the controller to the coffee table Mama dropped off a few weeks ago after I mentioned we didn’t have one.
“Sorry. I’m just…”
“Stuck in your fucking head,” Trey finished. “Which is bad news, boo bear. It’s only gonna fuck up the next game. You heard Sasha. The loss, any loss, is on the whole team and the coaching staff. No one man can lose a hockey game on his own.”
“But…”
“Save the butts for the bedroom. Now, you wanna play video games or are you gonna make me play alone?”
A sigh wove its way through my chest as I reached for the controller. I fell into the couch cushions, the controller still on the coffee table. With our next game only a day away, I hoped Trey, Isaac, Isaiah, and I had sorted ourselves out enough to keep from making the same mistake twice.
“Looks like I’m playing by myself. And I don’t mean that sexually. Although maybe you should. Getting off always helps me get out of my head. Getting my dick wet helps even more so.”
If he only knew how much I wanted a certain someone to toss me on a bed and plow me like a field.
My only problem came from who my chosen partner was. The guy I wanted, who checked all my boxes, was strictly off limits.
“Imma head out for a while. Maybe blow off some steam.”
“Fuck blowing steam. Find a guy and blow him.”
Standing up, soft laughter blew from my mouth, and I patted his shoulder as I walked by him.
“Thanks for the pep talk and advice. I appreciate it, but I think I’ll get a workout in.”
“No…”
“Lifting without a partner. I know.”
“Shoot me a message if you need a spotter. I could use some gym time, too, but I’m not as die-hard as you, bud. I’m not working out unless you force me to, but if you want a spotter, call.”
“Will do,” I said, walking out the door.
I took the stairs to the basement tunnel and headed for the gym. Nothing cleared my head like being on the ice.
In the locker room, I changed clothes, geared up, and tied on my skates. Then I sat with my thoughts while taping and waxing my stick. There were so many things I wanted to say to Alex, but I didn’t know if I would ever get the chance.
I wanted to thank him for taking such good care of me that night at the club.
I needed him to know I wanted more than one night, and I understood why it could never be.
Possibilities, dreams, and what-ifs raced around my head like they were on the merry-go-round from my childhood before I met Tata and Mama. It squeaked whenever the wind blew it, but I didn’t care. I’d lie there for hours staring up at the stars, possibilities, dreams, and what-ifs that plagued me then, too.
