It didn’t take me long to gather the stuff he texted asking me to bring before getting on the road. When I pulled into the driveway, I turned off my car and stared at the house before me.
“Beach house, my fucking ass.”
“You gonna sit in the car all night?” Declan’s voice called out to me, and I tore my gaze from the structure before me to get a look at my husband.
I smiled, grabbed our stuff from the trunk of my car, and headed toward him.
36
DECLAN
Iwatched for him at the door with Walker’s gaze boring into my back. I did my best to put his admonishments out of my mind. I didn’t want to think about it. Especially not when he left in less than forty-eight hours.
“Declan…”
“Don’t start. He leaves in two days. I’m not throwing this at him before he leaves for six months.”
“Hayden deserves…”
“Fucking stop, Walker. Just fucking shut up. I’ve had it up to my fucking eyeballs with your admonishments and harping. Fuck you’re worse than an old man bitchin’ about the weather. Hayden is my spouse. Not yours. Don’t presume to tell me what I should do or what he deserves again. Do you understand?”
“The two of you are good together, and if I were you…”
My voice rose to levels I don’t remember it ever getting to as I screamed, “But you’re not me, goddammit! You’re not me! And I know Hayden and I are good together. You think I don’t know that? I love him, dammit. I love him so fucking much, but he was hurt by someone badly, and it colored his opinion of wealthy people. I’m fucking petrified. Do you get that? I’m fucking petrified I’m going to lose him, Walker.”
He came to me and wrapped me in his arms while I fought off the emotion clogging my throat.
“I’m so scared, not just because of what I’ve not told him, but because of his job. I don’t know how Lillian, Julie, and Aunt Viv did it all those years.”
“They leaned on each other and the other wives.”
“But I’m not a wife.”
“No, but Hayden’s not the only gay Marine, so you need to find your tribe. The family will be here for you. All you have to do is reach out to us, but another man whose spouse is forward deployed or on a float in the middle of the ocean, and the only way to communicate is through email, you need that person to turn to because it is scary. Lord knows, I know how dangerous the job is. I didn’t think I would recover from the injuries I suffered that last time. What you have to remember… it’s not just his job. It’s a calling. He’ll be a Marine for the rest of his life, whether he’s actively serving or not. That pull to serve… the hero mentality will always be there, but so will the training. He is trained, well trained.”
“So were you.”
“Yes, and training doesn’t alleviate the risk; it just lessens it by preparing you to respond to a threat with strategic thinking and muscle memory. Same as you. You know the training because, for the most part, all the employees at Holt Securities have gone through a similar training program.”
I sighed. He was right. I knew the training.
“I swear, falling for this man turned me into a whiny, wimpy, fraidy cat.”
“Fraidy cat? Really?”
My retort was cut off by music and the roar of a muscle car. The sound made its way up the street, letting me know he’d arrived. I opened the door and stepped out on the porch. Hayden sat in the car looking at the house, and I knew what he was thinking. Then, he mouthed something, and I sighed. He was so close to figuring it out for himself.
“You gonna sit in the car all night?” I yelled at him, and his gaze swung to me.
Smiling at him, I waved him toward the house. He smiled in return before pulling out the stuff he’d loaded in his trunk. He climbed the wide, deep treads of the porch steps, stopping before reaching the top. He pulled me into his embrace, and I sighed as his long, strong arms wrapped around me, squeezing me to his body. I tucked my face into his neck and let myself just be.
Everything was right in my world whenever he held me. I loved everything about being in his arms. He quieted my mind, settled any anxiety I felt in the moment, and I felt loved beyond measure.
“You okay, carinõ?”
“I will be. I’m just not looking forward to you being deployed.”
“I know. I’m not as excited about this deployment as I usually am.”
