“And I do that.”
He froze in my arms. If it weren’t for the body heat, I could’ve been holding a block of ice.
“Hayden…”
“No. Don’t deny it. I do that. I did it this morning.”
“But…”
“Vato, you were feeling dominant, and I didn’t just assume you would be okay with submitting to me, I forced you to. I even said I was going to…”
Panic flooded my system as I realized what I had done. My heart lodged itself in my throat, and I moved away from him, but he flew out of my arms, straddling me before I could get far.
“You listen to me. You did not force me. If I didn’t want what we did, I would’ve said so. It’s not… not wanting it. It’s being comfortable wanting it because it feels out of sync with who I am at that moment. But that does not mean you raped me. I happen to like what you do to me. That rape-fuck energy you get is hot as hell. But it’s not a violation. It’s damn sure not an assault.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep, shuddered breath. I tried to believe him. I did. I heard what he said, but it didn’t alleviate what I felt and the guilt that pummeled me.
“Let me up, Declan.”
“Hayden…”
“Please.”
Emotion washed the pleading tone, making the sound warble. With my eyes still closed, I couldn’t see if he’d noticed, and I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.
“Not until you look at me and tell me you understand. That you truly don’t believe you forced yourself on me.”
He was a big guy, but so was I. I wrapped my hands around his waist, flipping us so he was on his back. I pushed away. He was having none of it. He grabbed onto me, wrapping his arms and legs around my body.
“If you go, I go. I’m seriously not joking. You won’t shake me.”
“How can you want to be with me? To be near me?”
His legs tightened around my waist and cupped my face. “Look at me. Please.”
I couldn’t deny him when he asked me anything in that tone. I opened my eyes and fell into the loving gaze staring back at me.
“You asked how I can want to be with you, near you?”
I nodded.
“It’s because you are the best man… best person I’ve ever met. You push me to explore who I am at my core. You take care of me. You make me laugh. I’ve never… never had as much fun as I have with you. You said we needed to remember we hadn’t been together very long, and you’re right, but in that short time, you being who and what you are has helped me find me. Do you know how rare it is to find someone who wants you to be the best version of yourself?”
“What about…”
“Papi, you can rape-fuck me whenever you want. If I want an out, all I have to do is safeword.”
I nodded, his words penetrating. “I’ll try to be more sensitive to your dominant needs. I promise you.”
“This is why we need a third.”
I turned and sat on the end of the bed with him on my lap. “I agree the more I think about it. We’re so much alike when you’re feeling more dominant. Plus, it would be really, really hot to watch you reduce some girl…”
“Not some girl. Our girl. A little that can help me satisfy my Papi’s Daddy Dom.”
“No age play, though. I’m not that kinda Daddy.”
I laughed. “Same. We good?”
