Adam glanced over his shoulder where Brock and Walker sat, laughing like a couple of hyenas. “Fuck that. I gotta hold my own. Like you, I wrapped myself up with a brute who needs manhandling.”
I burst out laughing. “You ain’t wrong, brother. Sometimes the big brutes need reminding they can get tossed around, too.”
We sat around shooting the shit and getting drunk off our asses the rest of the day. Heidi and Linc joined us at one point, bringing with them food from what had to be every one of my favorite places to eat. When the food was consumed, they were all fat and happy, while I was fat and miserable.
The cards came out. Poker was a family pastime. We were raised on our parents’ laps at the card table. It wasn’t a Holt family gathering without someone bringing out a deck of cards or ten. What could I say? We’re a big family.
Most of the family were card sharks. There were three Holts, though, that no one would play against. And I sat at the table with two of the three, and the other was long dead.
Hand after hand, and as usual, watching Walker and Heidi play cards was like watching a couple of pros on ESPN. Neither of them showed any emotion. Their faces were as blank as a dead man’s. With Walker’s years as a Marine and Heidi’s psychology degree, and the training she’d gone through to be an interrogator for Holt, I knew they’d be trading chips for a while. I wasn’t feeling it, so I waved them off when they dealt the next hand.
We never played for cash when it was just family and friends. So it wasn’t like I was worried about losing cash. The years of the family making their fortune over a deck of cards died out with the Grandpappy, who won the ranch in a game of poker.
I moved away from the table to one of the lounge chairs with a bottle of whiskey and settled in, leaning back into the cushions. I closed my eyes and took a swig straight from the bottle when Linc’s voice broke the silence.
“Hide and I got you something.”
One eyelid raised, and I looked at him with a brow cocked, but I didn’t say anything.
“Well, Hide and I got it, but it was a concerted effort since Walker didn’t want to call his buddies for information.”
“Okay.” Now, he had my interest, especially since Walker had asked me if I had heard from him.
“Here’s the hubby’s email address and address on the ship. We figured y’all hadn’t had the chance to share those things since he got called out right after y’all got back from the impromptu wedding and mini honeymoon.”
My eyes fell from his face to the paper he held out to me. I reached for it, but he snatched it away. “But I’m not going to let you have it until tomorrow.Afteryou’ve sobered up.”
“Fucker.”
“Takes one to know one, cuz.”
23
HAYDEN
Istepped out onto the weather deck. I loved the way the sun and moon glinted off the water. It was gorgeous during the day, but my favorite time was the dead of night. When it was still, like it was now, it looked like a painting worthy of the world’s best museums.
Sucking in a deep breath, I held it, letting it escape slowly. I loved the smell of the salty sea air. It was one of the best parts of living on the West Coast, but it was difficult to find thanks to the smells of the naval vessel I called home.
You wouldn’t think a navy warship would have a smell, but it did. And it was rarely pleasant. It was a slurry of smells. The steel and electronics, cooking food, and the smells of the men and women who lived aboard were all there. Then, there were all the chemicals used to keep the shop afloat and do the job it was built to do. Rocket fuel, jet fuel, diesel, cleaners, grease, oil, you name it, and we breathed it.
But underneath the smell of all that was the smell of the ocean. It, too, was a melting pot of smells. Not all of them are pleasant on their own, but when combined… Yeah, it was one of my favorite things, but I had trouble finding it lately.
I’d run out of cigarettes days ago, and while I could get more, I’d been trying to quit for years. I didn’t start smoking until my first cruise, and even then, I only smoked when at sea or working on the boat. It helped drown out the smell of all the chemicals. Judging by the assault on my nose now that I’d been nicotine free for a while, all the reports that smoking screwed up your sense of smell were right on the nose.
I chuckled at myself.
I only hoped I could leave them behind for good. I tried every deployment. Sometimes, I didn’t bring them with me but broke down and bought them. Other times, I brought them with me and either tried not to smoke them or would refuse to buy them when I ran out, like this time. The only difference between this time and all the others was Declan.
I still couldn’t wrap my head around… well,him. He was like a typhoon. The moment I laid eyes on him, he was all I thought of. Even when something else took precedence, he was there, lurking in the background.
Ten days.
That’s how many days passed between meeting him and getting on the plan for the recon op. As predicted, the brass moved us from the recon mission straight to the training cruise they supposedly canceled. I knew that was too good to be true. In all the years I’d been in the Marines, the only thing they’d canceled and not rescheduled was leave time.
We’d been at it for weeks now, with the grueling schedule not letting up. It was a double-edged sword. On one hand, we didn’t have a lot of downtime. When we stopped, we all usually dropped from exhaustion, but on the other hand, when I did have a moment to think, he stormed through my mind, and I was helpless against the attack.
And that’s what it felt like. An attack. On my emotions, my mind, my sleep, my heart, and my guts. He walked in, took over, and left me reeling.
