“Quit being an ass. Just take him along with you and point him in the right direction.”
Her comment made me want to be even more of an ass, but I bit my tongue.
“Fine. I’ll take him.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it. Seriously. Don’t. Mention. It.”
“For fuck’s sake, you’re such a diva.”
“What was that you just said? Oh, yeah, it takes one to know one.”
She shoved at me. I burst out laughing. She wasn’t tiny by any standard, at least not until she stood next to me. She barely came to my collarbone, and I had her by at least a hundred pounds.
“You’re a big ass brute.”
“You never complained about that before. From what I remember, you loved it when this big ass brute tossed you around like a feather and fucked you until you saw stars.”
“You’re right. I did.” She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. When she continued, her voice wavered, “And we’d still be getting our jollies off together if you could get your head out of your ass.”
“Lucia…”
She waved me off, and I stopped, my lips rolling between my teeth as I waited. She opened and closed her mouth several times, then walked away. When she turned back toward me, sunlight glinted off the tears in her eyes.
“I’d gut that cunt if I could.”
I sighed, hating myself for hurting her and for the drunken confession that clued her in on the ugliness of my past.
“It wouldn’t do any good. Wouldn’t change anything. The lesson’s been learned. There’s nothing to be done.”
“But…”
“Lucia, I’m sorry I hurt you.”
“I’m not hurt. Just sad. For us both. I thought we were good together.”
I held my tongue. We were good together. We understood the Corps came first, and I thanked my lucky stars that Lucia and I could remain friends because she was probably one of my best friends. But none of that mattered. There was no point in this conversation. There hadn’t been any of the previous times we had it, and there wasn’t now.
I’d gotten my heart trampled. Then Lucia and I started fucking. Everything was fine until she started pushing for more. I’d been honest from the jump. A relationship wasn’t on my radar. Not now. Not ever again. It’s the reason I’d quit fucking women. They weren’t all like the bitch I’d fallen for, but I wasn’t ever going to take that chance again. No matter how much I wanted a partner, men knew the score. At least the ones I went for did.
She must’ve realized that I wasn’t going to comment because she took a deep breath before saying, “I’ll text you Scott’s info.”
I nodded, and she stepped forward, squeezed my arm, then walked off, leaving me to my thoughts. Thoughts I didn’t want to be left alone with. I flicked the cigarette off the side of the boat and headed back inside. I still had an hour before I could return home to prepare for tonight’s babysitting gig.
My boots echoed as I moved through the boat toward where we stowed our gear. Another check wouldn’t hurt. I went through every bag. I counted weapons and ammo, trying and failing, to lose myself in the mundane mindlessness to escape the reminders ofher.
Fucking cunt.
It didn’t matter that I hadn’t seen the woman for years. She infected me with her vile manipulations until she lived in the marrow of my bones. The pain and hate from every touch, kiss, fuck, word, and breath I’d once cherished lingered on relentlessly, trapped in the spaces she’d invaded and left festering.
Dropping to the floor, I leaned back against a pallet of gear. I banged my head against them, trying and failing to dislodge her from my brain once and for all. It was useless. I’d never rid myself of her.
2
DECLAN
Dark aviators sat on my face, blocking out the sun. My eyes danced over the mostly naked partygoers in the pool sitting behind the Hollywood mansion of some nepo B-lister before returning to the perimeter.
